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an Episode Guide
by kingkong

Last updated:
Thu, 25 Oct 2018 21:00

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aired from: May 2000 to: ___ ____ 28 eps BBC2 / BBC3 30 min stereo closed captioned


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    1st Series Spring 2000

  1. "Flushed"
    gs: Raji James [ Waiter ]

    Jeff reckons Steve is still in 'The Zone' with Jane: the time after the breakup when there can still be sex, but he wants to date Susan instead. When he has a meal in a restaurant with Jane, Susan walks in.

    b: 12 May 00

  2. "Size Matters"
    gs: Angus Deayton [ Himself ], Mariella Frostrup [ Herself ], William Scott-Masson [ Howard ], Adam Astill [ Barman ]

    Susan invites Steve for a date at home, and offers to cook. Jeff warns him about 'The Sock Gap', and Patrick alerts him to her collection of remote controls. Somehow everyone's conversation seems to revolve around Patrick's size, and Jeff is asked by several people to accompany him to the toilet to check.

    b: 19 May 00

  3. "Sex, Death & Nudity"
    gs: Nigel Betts [ Neighbour ], Adam Astill [ Barman ], Simon Bateso [ Michael ], Gwenllian Davies [ Aunt Muriel ], Katharine Page [ Agatha ], Jeremy Peters [ Undertaker ], Brian Shelley [ Vicar ]

    Jeff explains to the guys about 'The Giggle Loop': the danger that the more you try to suppress laughter in important silences, the harder you want to laugh. Jane's aunt has died, and she wants Steve to come to the funeral, pretending to be her boyfriend still. Susan invites herself, and so Patrick must come as her 'boyfriend', and all six end up going.

    b: 26 May 00

  4. "Inferno"
    gs: Elizabeth Marmur [ Jill ]

    Steve is worried that Susan has discovered a compromising tape in his video collection. Jane persuades her therapist to come along as a guest at a dinner party. Steve ends up explaining why his tape is ‘artistic’ and not pornographic.

    b: 2 Jun 00

  5. "The Girl with Two Breasts"
    gs: Anat Dychtwald [ The girl ], Ruth Lass [ Alice ], Sarah Joseph [ Girl at bar ], Alaistair Southey [ Barman ]

    Jeff has a torturous time when he tries to chat up a beautiful foreign woman in the pub, as they do not have a language in common, which causes the misunderstandings to multiply.

    b: 9 Jun 00

  6. "The Cupboard of Patrick's Love"

    Patrick has a cupboard of video tapes of his former girlfriends, not to mention Britt Ekland in The Wicker Man. Jeff is excited, but Steve is appalled, when he realises that Susan must be amongst them. Susan is also horrified when she realises this in the company of the other girls. Later on, she arrives at Patrick's, and is outraged at what she finds going on there.

    b: 16 Jun 00

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    2nd Series Autumn 2001

  7. "The Man with Two Legs"
    gs: Alison King [ Chrissy ], Paul Moody [ David ], Simon Chadwick [ Liam ], Imogen Bain [ Woman on train ]

    Jeff finally gets to speak to Chrissy, the woman on the train whose leg he has been fancying for days. He is so thrown and lost for words that tells her that he only has one leg, a lie which becomes ever harder to admit to. Meanwhile, Sally is dating a "surgeon" called David, and Jeff wonders whether it would be easier...

    b: 3 Sep 01

  8. "My Dinner in Hell"
    gs: Mariella Frostrup [ Herself ], Wanda Ventham [ Edna Walker ], James Woolley [ Robert Walker ], Nick Moorcroft [ TV presenter ], Wendy Wason [ Sex shop assistant ], Samuel Barnett [ Sex shop assistant ]

    After watching an embarrassing program on TV with Susan, Steve bumps into his dream celebrity, Mariella Frostrup, in the bar, but it is not the dream encounter he might like, as she pours her drink down his trousers. Jane and Sally's attempt to make friends with her get him into more trouble as he then has to have dinner with Susan's liberal-minded parents, which turns into a nightmare as misunderstandings multiply.

    b: 10 Sep 01

  9. "Her Best Friend's Bottom (1)"
    gs: Jack Pierce [ Junior shop assistant ], Alan Cowan [ Senior shop assistant ]

    When Steve pops into Susan's flat, he accidentally sees Sally's naked bottom. This incident leads to dilemmas and awkwardness all round, which are dealt with in the classic sequence outlined by Jeff: the prickles (an embarrassed silence), the blurts (talking too fast), followed by the ‘head laugh’.

    b: 17 Sep 01

  10. "The Melty Man Cometh (2)"
    gs: Gresby Nash [ Mark ], Eddie Allen [ Patrick's friend ]

    Following their disastrous encounter, Patrick seeks reassurance from Steve & Jeff, and Sally seeks reassurance from Jane & Susan. Sally worries it was because she is unattractive, and Patrick is just worried. Sally drops by Patrick's flat to discuss forgetting about the incident completely.

    b: 24 Sep 01

  11. "Jane and the Truth Snake"
    gs: Susan Earl [ Lynda ], Shaughan Seymour [ Jeremy Phillips ], Ben Miles (?) [ Voice of DJ ]

    Jane gets the sack as a traffic reporter for a local radio station, and decides on a new career in children's entertainment. She starts rehearsing with a pink snake hand puppet, which turns out to have an unstoppable ability to tell the bald truth. Patrick is trying to dump his latest girlfriend Lynda, but when she says she's interested in a threesome, he desperately starts backtracking.

    b: 1 Oct 01

  12. "Gotcha"
    gs: Sue Kelvin [ Madge ], Robert Purdy [ Waiter ], Seema Bowri [ Waitress ]

    It's one year since Steve and Susan's first date, and he is dreading questions about their future. And then a wedding invitation drops through their front door. Patrick meets an ex who appears to fail to recognise him.

    b: 8 Oct 01

  13. "Dressed"
    gs: Mathew Bose [ Bill ], Stewart Wright [ Harry ], Peter Hepplethwaite [ Walter ], Dominic Taylor [ Ivan ], Lidija Zovkic [ Miranda ], Georgia Kelly [ Emily ], Michael Price [ Barman ]

    Patrick has boasted to his business associate, Ivan, amongst other things that he has a wife, and when Ivan comes to the bar, Patrick presses Sally and then Susan into pretending to be his wife. Things turn awkward when Steve proposes to Susan while she is pretending to be faithfully married to Patrick. Meanwhile, Jane is invited on a dinner date by Bill, a man she chatted up in a pub, but makes an unfortunate choice of clothing for the evening.

    b: 15 Oct 01

  14. "Naked"
    gs: Lou Gish [ Julia Davis ], Anwen Williams [ Jeff's mother ], Ian Ralph [ Boss ], Mike Sherman [ Jeff's colleague 1 ], Suzann McLean [ Jeff's colleague 2 ], Ewan Watson [ Jeff's colleague 3 ], Ben Homewood [ Waiter ], Simon Clayton [ Policeman ]

    As Jeff's 30th birthday approaches, his new boss Julia Davis questions the girls about whether one should kiss a junior work colleague, while Jeff admits to the lads that he had a close encounter of the NAT (Nose Avoidance Tilting) kind in a stationery cupboard at work...

    b: 22 Oct 01

  15. "The End of the Line"
    gs: Lou Gish [ Julia Davis ], Mark Frost [ Richard ], Jules Leyser [ Yvonne ], Hazel McBride [ Giselle ]

    Steve has stupidly swapped phone numbers with a girl he chatted to in a bar, and fearing that she may actually call him, takes to answering the phone in an Australian accent, as "Bruce's Bar and Grill". Meanwhile, Susan, in order to get out of an awkward situation being chatted up by an Australian in another bar, phones home using a French accent.

    b: 29 Oct 01

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    3rd Series Autumn 2002

  16. "Split"
    gs: Hannah Waddingham [ Jenny Turbot ], Mariella Frostrup [ Herself ]

    Steve & Susan split up after their misunderstandings and idiocies, and he can't bring himself to phone her to apologize. They make their separate ways to what they call the "Temple of Woman" - in his case to a lap-dancing club, and in her case to a beauty salon. Late that night they separately return to their flat, and rendezvous in the bedroom, but there are some painful and embarrassing surprises in store before they can be reconciled.

    b: 23 Sep 02

  17. "Faithless (1)"
    gs: Lou Gish [ Julia Davis ], Emilia Fox [ Wilma Lettings ], Lloyd Owen [ James ], Gerard Gilroy [ Roger ], Muriel Pavlow [ Angela ], Colin Michael Carmichael [ Trevor ], Andrew Collins [ Andrew ]

    Jane finds herself in competition with the "Supreme Being of the Universe" for the attention of James, an E-Type owning hunk who also works at the radio station. Jeff has a crisis after bumping into Wilma Lettings, a co-worker he fancies, in the stationery cupboard, and saying 'Hi!'. When their mutual attraction becomes apparent, they end up going out on a date while Julia is away for the night.

    b: 30 Sep 02

  18. "Unconditional Sex (2)"
    gs: Lou Gish [ Julia Davis ], Emilia Fox [ Wilma Lettings ]

    On their date, Wilma makes Jeff an invitation that's hard to turn down, though he tries valiantly. Back at the bar, Jane makes a suggestion to Jeff over the phone that seems to save the situation, but causes more difficulties later. While they are helping Jeff, Steve inadvertantly compares his relationship with Susan to the Cold War.

    b: 7 Oct 02

  19. "Remember This"
    gs: Ryan Philpott [ Peter Wilkins ], Rachel Shelley [ Samantha ], David Carter [ Man at buffet ], Rebecca Deren [ Morag ], Jason Bailey [ Patrick's friend ]

    Patrick rushes round to Sally's flat, thinking she has phoned him in the middle of the night. Later, they both wonder to their respective friends whether they might be each other's intended soulmate. They try to remember what exactly happened when they first met, with differing results.

    b: 14 Oct 02

  20. "The Freckle, the Key and the Couple Who Weren't"
    gs: Lou Gish [ Julia Davis ], Lloyd Owen [ James ], Mark Bannerman [ Joe ]

    Steve is troubled by a blemish on his bottom, which Susan hasn't noticed. James remembers where he knows Susan from. Jeff and Julia try spicing up their love life, but he loses the key to the handcuffs. Then Julia's chunky ex-boyfriend calls round, and he has to pretend that they're not a couple.

    b: 21 Oct 02

  21. "The Girl with One Heart"
    gs: Emma Pierson [ Jennifer ], Nigel Harman [ Pizza man ]

    Susan redecorates the bathroom, leaving the door lock off, which unnerves Steve, though he doesn't have the courage to mention it to her. Much to Sally's consternation, Patrick brings his new girlfriend, Jennifer, to dinner at Susan's. Even worse, she turns out to be slim and beautiful, and, because Patrick has told her that Sally is a lesbian, completely misunderstands the situation when Sally enters the bathroom while she is still there. Jane invites her new boyfriend, a pizza delivery man, to the dinner as well.

    b: 28 Oct 02

  22. "Perhaps"
    gs: Lloyd Owen [ James ], Thea Rowland [ Nurse ], Seun Shote [ Pizza man ]

    Some days after Sally announced how she feels about Patrick, she thinks she may be pregnant, and when her home pregnancy test is inconclusive, gets the other two to take one. Susan reveals that she and Steve have been trying for a baby for six months, and that it has been found that she is infertile. Jane reveals why she may be the one who's pregnant. Patrick at last calls Sally, and asks her to the bar, where he tells her how he feels about her.

    b: 4 Nov 02

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    4th Series Spring 2004

  23. "9½ Minutes"
    gs: Robin Kermode [ Dr Reynolds ], Amanda Abbington [ Nicola ], Pandora Colin [ Emma ]

    In their usual bar, we see three versions of the same short period, as Susan & Steve discuss her pregnancy, Patrick & Sally (well, mostly Sally) talk relationships, and Jane has a blind date with Oliver, a geek magnet who owns a comic-book shop.

    b: 10 May 04

  24. "Nightlines"
    gs: Olivia Caffrey [ Tamsin ], Cosima Shaw [ Sexy girl ], Nicholas Briggs [ Dalek voice ]

    Steve has a recurring dream - that he's being executed by a fetus. Susan feels insulted by this, and phones people looking for reassurance: Tamsin, Oliver's ex-girlfriend, and Sally. Oliver didn't know that Tamsin was pregnant. Sally is spending the night at Patrick's. Steve & Patrick are both listening in on the conversation on extension phones. Then Jane joins in.

    b: 17 May 04

  25. "Bed Time"
    gs: Jack Brough [ Till guy ], Saskia Mulder [ Attractive girl ], Steve Brody [ Angry man ], Michael Price [ Barman ]

    Patrick tries every technique he can think of to get away from Sally's flat after sex, so that he doesn't have to stay the whole night and can have some time in his own space & bed, but it proves impossible: it appears he is trapped in the enchanted glade of his one true love. Not even Steve can offer any help. Sally invites the others round for dinner, and Jane invites Oliver, who is very self-conscious about having an erect nipple problem. Patrick appears to win the struggle to get away afterwards, until Susan suggests trying some mood-music, All by Myself, to make him feel guilty about it, but in Sally's drunkeness she sings the song that she and Jane made up about Susan being like an elf.

    b: 24 May 04

  26. "Circus of the Epidurals"
    gs: Elizabeth Marmur [ Jill ], Olivia Caffrey [ Tamsin ], Eve Marie Bryer [ Pregnant wife ], Renton Skinner [ Husband ]

    Susan persuades Steve to come to the ante-natal class, where he finds that the stand-in midwife remembers him from an embarrassing dinner party. Susan also persuades Sally to come, as a backup, and she persuades Jane, who persuades Oliver, who persuades Patrick. Sally finds the whole concept of birth traumatic and has to repeatedly retreat into her safety zone, soothed by the sound of a string quartet.

    b: 31 May 04

  27. "The Naked Living Room"
    gs: Olivia Caffrey [ Tamsin ], Vilma Hollingbery [ Mrs Barker, aka Mrs M ], Su Elliott [ Mrs C ]

    It's a year since Oliver's girlfriend Tamsin moved out of their flat, since when it has become more and more a bachelor's pad, even the porn is left out. So Oliver is deeply embarrassed when Jane invites herself in, and then invites him to her place, in a manner even he can't mistake. While having a drink with Sally, and amid revelations about Patrick having slept with Jane, Susan's waters break.

    b: 7 Jun 04

  28. "9½ Months"
    gs: Samantha Spiro [ Jeffina ], Sophie Stanton [ Midwife ], Vaughan Sivell [ Anesthetist ], Janice Phayre [ Nurse ], Jordan Long [ Orderly ], Jim Field Smith [ Taxi driver ], Joshua Iredale [ Baby Joshua ]

    As Steve dozes in the hospital next to Susan on the night of the birth of their first child, he dreams that he is visited by Jeff, returned from a holiday on Lesbos, having had a sex-change. On the way to the hospital, Steve &s; Susan dropped by Patrick's flat, where Sally was jealously intent on seeing the video that Steve had made of Jane, but she also found the engagement ring Patrick had bought for her. Steve &s; Susan also dropped by Jane's flat where Oliver had recently arrived, and Jane was openly deliberately ambiguous about her continuing feelings for Steve. At the hospital, Susan has to have a Cesarian section, and gives birth to a boy.

    b: 14 Jun 04

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The BBC have a website on this show, at http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/coupling/. The first four series are available on PAL VHS video and Region 2 DVD in the UK, and Region 1 DVD in N America. Thanks to Tennant Stuart for his eagle eyes and ears.

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