epguides.com presents

3rd Rock From the Sun

an Episode Guide
by Russell Wodell

Last updated:
Thu, 25 Oct 2018 21:00

Cast Photo
aired from: Jan 1996 to: ___ ____ 124+ eps NBC 30 min stereo closed captioned

regulars:

  • John Lithgow as Dick Solomon
  • Kristen Johnston as Sally Solomon
  • French Stewart as Harry Solomon
  • Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Tommy Solomon
  • Jane Curtin as Dr. Mary Albright
  • Simbi Khali as Nina Campbell
  • Wayne Knight as Don, Sally's police officer boyfriend [ becomes a regular in Season 3 ]
  • Elmarie Wendell as Mrs. Dubcek, the aliens' unsuspecting landlady

    recurring characters:

  • Shay Astar as August, Tommy's sometime girlfriend
  • David DeLuise as Bug, a student
  • Ileen Getz as Judith, Dr. Albright's colleague and friend
  • Chris Hogan as Pitman, a student
  • Jan Hooks as Vicki, Mrs. Dubcek's daughter and Harry's sometime lover
  • Ian Lithgow as Leon, a student
  • Michael Milhoan as Coach, Tommy's high school athletics coach and nemesis
  • Harry Morgan as Professor Suter
  • Bruce Morrow as Father Rice
  • Danielle Nicolet as Caryn, a student
  • Blake Soper as Elman, a fellow student of Tommy's
  • Ron West as Dr. Strudwick, Dick's hated rival professor of physics
  • Jim Beaver as Doug, Harry's boss as Happy Doug's Bar [ season 4+]
  • Marianne Muellerleile as Lucy, the college cafeteria cashier and Dick's nemesis [ season 4+ ]
  • Larissa Oleynik as Alissa, Tommy's lab partner and eventual girlfriend (later revealed to be Dr. Strudwick's daughter) [ season 4+ ]
  • Jason Carter as Seth, Sally's third boyfriend [ season 3 only ]
  • John D'Aquino as Mr. Randall, Tommy's teacher and Sally's first boyfriend [ season 1 only ]


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      1st Season Winter 1996

    1. "Brains and Eggs"
      gs: Jennifer Rhodes [ Mrs. Sumner ], Marne Patterson [ Volleyball Girl ], Susan Leslie [ Kissing Woman ], Dan Gilvezen [ Radio DJ ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn

      Solomon discovers that human bodies can produce feelings, and he's feeling attracted to a college professor with whom he shares an office.

      b: 9 Jan 96 pc: 101 w: Bonnie Turner & Terry Turner d: James Burrows
    2. "Post Nasal Dick"
      gs: Marla Sokoloff [ Dina ], Rachel Davies [ Flora ], Wayne Thomas Yorke [ Best Man ], Pat Lach [ Mother ], Marijane Cole [ Sshh Lady ], Martha Stewart [ Herself ]

      Tommy's "make-out session" has an unintended consequence: he catches a bug and the crew gets its first taste of human illness. Martha Stewart has a camero curing Harry with her apple cobbler.

      b: 16 Jan 96 pc: 105 w: Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein d: Robert Berlinger
    3. "Dick's First Birthday"
      gs: Lauren Graham [ Laurie ], Dee Freeman [ Waitress ], Benjamin King [ Man in Bar ], Robert Lynch [ Doug ]

      rc: Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn, Coach

      Dick confronts the harsh realities of middle age when he's introduced to the earthly concept of birthdays - and it dawns on him that he's getting old.

      b: 23 Jan 96 pc: 106 w: Andy Cowan d: Robert Berlinger
    4. "Dick Is From Mars, Sally Is From Venus"
      gs: Whitney Rydbeck [ Mr. Kersey ], Elayn Taylor [ Teacher #1 ], Artie Anderson [ Brad ], Merrick Deamon [ Guy ]

      rc: Coach

      Sally's exploration of the life style of a young adult woman proceeds: Dick assigns her to go out on a date and, not surprisingly, the guy turns out to be a jerk.

      b: 30 Jan 96 pc: 103 w: Bill Martin & Mike Schiff d: Robert Berlinger
    5. "Dick, Smoker"
      gs: Jane Lynch [ Ms. Koppel ], David Dunard [ Mechanic ], Eddie Allen [ Dr. Bankson ], Dee Freeman [ Waitress ], Laurel Ann Green [ Moviegoer ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn

      While Sally does a slow burn at being the often-overruled second in command, Dick lights up his life by taking up smoking.

      b: 6 Feb 96 pc: 107 w: Bill Martin & Mike Schiff d: Robert Berlinger
    6. "Green-Eyed Dick"
      gs: Ed Begley Jr. [ Jeff ], Kathryn Lanasa [ Kate ], Richard Gilbert-Hill [ Jeff's Brother ], Katie Layman [ Muriel ], Nancy LeSuk [ Female Necker ], Darlene Kardon [ Old Woman ], Mark Bedard [ Naked Guy ], Lindsey Haun [ Lisa ], Eric Saiet [ Pleasant Man ], Steve Yiali [ Male Necker ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek

      Dick discovers the emotion of jealousy when Dr. Albright's old boyfriend returns to visit on a promotional tour of the novel he dedicated to her; Harry adopts a stray dog.

      b: 13 Feb 96 pc: 109 w: Joe Fisch d: Robert Berlinger
    7. "Lonely Dick"
      gs: Phil Hartman [ Philip ], Carole Davis [ Aviana ], Maria Cina [ Onya ]

      rc: August

      Dick's one lonely guy when Dr. Albright goes on vacation; Sally and Harry are lured by skin-care products that promise eternal youth.

      b: 20 Feb 96 pc: 110 w: Christine Zander d: Robert Berlinger
    8. "Body & Soul & Dick"
      gs: John Mahoney [ Dr. Henlin ], Anna Slotky [ Cheryl ], William Bogert [ Dean Sumner ], Jennifer Rhodes [ Mrs. Sumner ], Harry Murphy [ Professor ], Steven Barnett [ Cable Man ]

      rc: Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn, August, Father Rice

      When an obnoxious professor dies during a party in his honor, Dick finds the will specifies that he must deliver a "forthright and honest" eulogy about the universally despised academic. Meanwhile, Tommy neglects his female pal August to hit it off with an "easy" cheerleader.

      b: 27 Feb 96 pc: 113 w: Bonnie Turner & Terry Turner d: Robert Berlinger
    9. "Ab-Dick-ted"
      gs: Bronson Pinchot [ Roy Albright ]

      rc: August

      Dick receives a roundabout lesson in family values from Dr. Albright's loopy brother, who claims to have been abducted by aliens.

      b: 4 Mar 96 pc: 1?? w: Bob Kustel & Christine Zander d: Robert Berlinger
    10. "Truth or Dick"
      gs: Richard Roat [ Dr. Byron ], Andrew Hill Newman [ DMV Agent ], Mailon Rivera [ Campus Cop ], Dee Freeman [ DMV Clerk ], Kristin Morley [ Waitress ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn

      Dick discovers the consequences of unvarnished truth when he repeats some of Dr. Albright's unflattering comments at an academic committee meeting.

      b: 12 Mar 96 pc: 102 w: Bonnie Turner & Terry Turner d: Robert Berlinger
    11. "The Art of Dick"
      gs: Lorna Scott [ Mrs. Walters ], Peggy Billo [ Mrs. Hartzinger ], Jane Gordon [ Mrs. Greenstein ], Heather McPhaul [ Mrs. Duvall ]

      rc: Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn

      While Dick and Harry take up painting (Harry takes to it; Dick doesn't), Sally takes over the school bake sale with the gusto of Gen. Patton.

      b: 19 Mar 96 pc: 111 w: Bob Kushell d: Robert Berlinger
    12. "Frozen Dick"
      gs: John Raitt [ Trucker ], Teresa Tudury [ Connie ], Robert Knott [ Ellis ], Rex Lynn [ Chuck ], Tami Tappan [ Barbara ], Pat Thomas [ Customer #1 ], Carolyn Pemberton [ Customer #2 ], Skye McKenzie [ Last Customer ], Gigi Birmingham [ Singing Trucker ], Martin Hilton [ Singing Trucker ], Karl Hamann [ Singing Trucker ], Linda Dangcil [ Singing Trucker ]

      rc: Leon

      A snowstorm -- the Solomons' first -- spoils Dr. Albright's trip to Chicago, leaving her stranded in a truck stop with Dick.

      b: 26 Mar 96 pc: 117 w: Linwood Boomer d: Robert Berlinger
    13. "Angry Dick"
      gs: Mike Starr [ Frank Muller ], Lois Foraker [ Patty Muller ]

      rc: Bug, Pitman, Caryn, Leon, Mrs. Dubcek

      The Solomons learn about the give and take necessary to human frienships when they turn their anthropological gaze to the next-door neighbors.

      b: 2 Apr 96 pc: 104 w: Linwood Boomer d: Robert Berlinger
    14. "The Dicks They Are A-Changin'"
      rc: Mrs. Dubcek

      When Dick's evasive about his past -- because Tommy has been too busy with school work to establish their aliases -- Dr. Albright suspects he's a '60s radical fugitive she once had a thing for. Meanwhile, Harry joins a CD-of-the-month club and is swamped with CDs.

      b: 9 Apr 96 pc: 108 w: Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein d: Robert Berlinger
    15. "I Enjoy Being A Dick"
      gs: Jane Galloway [ Dr. Blumfeld ], Teresa Tudury [ Woman #2 ], Scotter Stephan [ Man ], Bart McCarthy [ Grouch ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, Judith, August

      Dick dons a dress to infiltrate Dr. Albright's women-only study group; Sally and Harry get jobs at a pancake restaurant.

      b: 21 Apr 96 pc: 116 w: Christine Zander d: Robert Berlinger
    16. "Dick Like Me"
      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, Bug, Pitman, Caryn, Mr. Randall

      The Solomons discover that everyone on Earth has roots but them. During a chat with Tommy's teacher Mr. Randell, Dick learns that the teenage isn't "fitting in" at school. "Of course I'm not fitting in," snaps Tommy, "to fit in, you have to be something." The question is, what to be? Dick grabs an anthropology book for the answer. "It's loaded with every possible genre of human," he marvels. "It's like a catalogue. We can take our pick." Dick picks the Italians because, according to a swooning Dr. Albright, they're the sexist people on the planet. Meanwhile, Sally's swooning, too -- for Mr. Randell.

      b: 23 Apr 96 pc: 115 w: Joe Fisch d: Robert Berlinger
    17. "Assault With A Deadly Dick"
      gs: Ray Proscia [ Mugger ], Lance E. Nichols [ Salesman ], Robert Arce [ Nutty Guy ]

      rc: Officer Don, Coach, August

      The Solomons' faith in human nature is shaken when they fall victim to crime ("This planet is in a bad neighborhood," sighs Sally). Meanwhile, Dick makes Tommy join the school basketball team.

      b: 30 Apr 96 pc: 114 w: Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein d: Robert Berlinger
    18. "Father Knows Dick"
      gs: Naomi Judd [ Mrs. Randall ], J. Jay Cohen [ Frank ], Lisa Kamimir [ Marguerite ], Kenneth Magee [ Policeman Joe ]

      rc: Mr. Randall

      Dick decides the reason Harry's"odd" is because he lacks a father, and sets out nurture the suddenly rebellious Harry -- who then learns that he has a"thing" in his head, a communications device the others knew about all along. Meanwhile, sparks fly when Sally meets the hostile mother of her boyfriend.

      b: 7 May 96 pc: 119 w: Bob Kushell d: Robert Berlinger
    19. "Selfish Dick"
      gs: Richard McGonagle [ Head Doctor ], Tom Jourdew [ Doctor ], Elliot Woods [ Doctor Ladyport ], Jan Clarke [ Nurse Woods ], Lily Knight [ Nurse Turner ], Tom Simmons [ Peter ], Steven Porter [ Roger ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, Judith, Father Rice, Professor Suter

      The ever-present influence of television turns the Solomons' first trip to a hospital into a madcap exercise in fantasy versus reality. After Mrs. Dubcek cuts her finger, and the sight of blood leave Sally unconscious, Harry and Tommy rush them to the hospital, where the smell of sterile corridors and the gleam of surgical scrubs remind the aliens of the exciting work of their favorite TV doctors -- work that they practice on several unsuspecting patients. Meanwhile, Dick has work issues of his own when Dr. Albright finally gets her long-coveted private office.

      b: 14 May 96 pc: 120 w: David Sacks d: Robert Berlinger
    20. "See Dick Run (1)"
      gs: Yoshihisa Kuwayama [ Chef ], Jocelyn Harris [ Restaurant Patron ]

      rc: Leon, Bug, Caryn, August, Mr. Randall

      Dick cuts up at a Japanese restaurant, but the big news is that he's there with Dr. Albright, who has finally agreed to date him. But just as they finally consummate their attraction, Harry receives bad news from the home planet: Dick has been replaced by a less benign duplicate, who traps him in the basement and takes charge of Dr. Albright.

      b: 21 May 96 pc: 118 w: Bill Martin & Mike Schiff d: James Burrows

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      2nd Season 1996

      Production credits:
      Executive producers: Bonnie Turner & Terry Turner, Caryn Madabach, Marcy Carsey, Tom Werner, Linwood Boomer
      Co-executive producer: Joe Fisch
      Producers: Bill Martin, Mike Schiff
      Produced by Patrick Kienlen
      Co-producers: Bob Kushell, Christine Zander
      Associate producer: Timothy Ryder
      Executive story consultant: Andy Cowan
      Creative consultant: Mark Brazill


    21. "See Dick Continue to Run (2)"
      gs: Dennis Rodman [ Himself ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn

      While Dick is trapped in the basement, Evil Dick begins a plan to impregnate all women in Ohio. [ Part 2 of 3 ]

      b: 22 Sep 96 pc: 201 w: Bill Martin & Mike Schiff d: Robert Berlinger
    22. "See Dick Continue to Run, Continued (3)"
      gs: Dennis Rodman [ Himself ]

      With the help of the other aliens, Dick escapes from the box and vanquishes Evil Dick, who is escorted back to his planet by Dennis Rodman, revealed as another alien.

      b: 22 Sep 96 pc: 202 w: Bill Martin & Mike Schiff d: Robert Berlinger
    23. "Hotel Dick"
      gs: George Takei [ Himself ], Tim Bagley [ Frank ], Larry Sousa [ Valet ], Tim Pulice [ Guy in Line ], David Goetsch [ Leaflet Guy ]

      Aghast at the treatment of aliens in a hit science fiction movie, the Solomons attend a science fiction convention to try to set the record straight -- and Sally's first experience of hotels get her hooked on room service.

      b: 29 Sep 96 pc: 205 w: Bob Kushell d: Robert Berlinger
    24. "Big Angry Virgin From Outer Space"
      gs: Jim Meskimen [ Alan ], Jean St. James [ Waitress ], Joy Stevens [ Beautiful Girl ]

      rc: August, Mr. Randall

      Relationships are in jeopardy: Sally and Mr. Randall are fighting, and Dick suggests that sex will solve their problem; Harry goes on a video blind date; and August tests Tommy's loyalty.

      b: 6 Oct 96 pc: 203 w: Christine Zander d: Robert Berlinger
    25. "Much Ado About Dick"
      gs: Jennifer Rhodes [ Mrs. Sumner ], Steven M. Gagnon [ Cop ]

      rc: Officer Don, Judith, Father Rice, Professor Suter

      When Albright is afraid to be seen with Dick in public as a couple, the Solomons discover the human obsession with what other people think. In the end, Dick and Albright come out with their relationship at a faculty party. Meanwhile, sparks once again fly when Sally runs into Officer Don and decides she is going to be a cop, but Dick forbids it; and Tommy is frustrated by not having transportation.

      b: 13 Oct 96 pc: w: Michael Glouberman; Andrew Orenstein d: Robert Berlinger
    26. "Dick the Vote"
      gs: Thomas Barkowski [ Protestor ], Al Franken [ Frank Gansmiller ], Wendy Schenker [ Reporter ], John Aylward [ Registrar ], Christine Zander [ Voter #1 ], Angela Robinson [ Voter #2 ], Michael Adler [ Handler ], Dan Gilvezan [ News Anchor ], John Henry Kurtz [ Commercial Voice ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, Officer Don, Leon, Bug, Pitman, Judith

      When Harry runs for city councilman, Dick discovers the complexity of the democratic system and struggles to make the right vote.

      b: 27 Oct 96 pc: 207 w: Dave Goetsch & Jason Venokur d: Robert Berlinger
    27. "Fourth and Dick"
      gs: Mike Ditka [ Himself ], Brenda Strong [ Mrs. Frost ], Jennifer Rhodes [ Mrs. Sumner ], Matthew Michael Mahaney [ Fan #1 ], Brian Matthew Carr [ Fan #2 ], James Grace [ Fan #3 ], Tatum Shank [ Football Player ], Clifford R. Bernay [ Assistant Coach ]

      rc: Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn

      During Pendleton's Homecoming weekend, Dick learns firsthand the importance people place in competition. Tommy has a crush on his Glee Club teacher. Sally makes Nina her best friend. Harry gets a job as a security officer.

      b: 3 Nov 96 pc: 206 w: Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein d: Robert Berlinger
    28. "World's Greatest Dick"
      gs: Laraine Newman [ Candace ], Burke Moses [ Glenn ], Paxton Whitehead [ Dr. Menard ], Danny Strong [ Aramis ], Trevor Bullock [ Porthos ], John Patrick White [ Victor ], Craig Olsen [ Drag Queen ], J. Patrick McCormack [ Victor's Dad ], Kimberlee Kramer [ Brianna ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek

      Fueling his own ego, Dick forces Tommy into a special school for gifted students; Sally is mistaken for a drag queen; Harry dabbles in magic.

      b: 10 Nov 96 pc: 208 w: Dave Goetsch & Jason Venokur d: Robert Berlinger
    29. "My Mother The Alien"
      gs: Brandy McGuire [ Toddler ], Sean McGuire [ Toddler ], Bodhi Pine Elfman [ Clerk ], Tara Charendoff [ Exercise Lady VO ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek

      Mrs. Dubcek asks the aliens to babysit her infant nephew. Dick discovers he's not very good at taking care of things when he kills Albright's fish.

      b: 17 Nov 96 pc: 209 w: David Israel & Jim O'Doherty d: Robert Berlinger
    30. "Gobble, Gobble, Dick, Dick"
      gs: Victor Raider-Wexler [ Janitor ], Tom Towles [ Dale ], Jim O'Heir [ Walt ], Mark Christopher Lawrence [ Bartender ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, Jan Hooks [ Vicki ]

      Sally begins to chafe at her role as the female when Dick invites Mrs. Dubcek and her daughter Vicki for Thanksgiving dinner; but Harry and Vicki hit it off atop the dinner table. Meanwhile, it becomes a true American holiday when Tommy fights with Dick and runs away to a pool hall.

      b: 24 Nov 96 pc: 210 w: Robert Kushell & Christine Zander d: Robert Berlinger
    31. "Dick Jokes"
      gs: Mark Pitta [ Joe Baggadonuts ], Dick Martin [ Ben Littmeyer ], Don Dowe [ Drunk ], Hubert Hodgin [ Clerk No. 1 ], Lance Davis [ Clerk No. 2 ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, August

      A jealous Dick decides to show Mary how funny he is after she asks another professor to emcee a college fund-raiser she's organizing. Meanwhile, Harry loses his beloved coat, and Sally builds a shelf to hold her shoes, providing lots of unnoticed slapstick humor.

      b: 8 Dec 96 pc: w: David Israel M. & Jim O'Doherty d: Robert Berlinger

      NOTE: William G. Schilling was originally announced as Littmeyer.
    32. "Jolly Old St. Dick"
      gs: Nikki Tyler [ Christine ], Peggy Mannix [ Charity Woman ], Michael McCarty [ Santa Claus ], Ken Polk [ Santa #2 ], Jack Lindine [ Santa #3 ], Edward Evanko [ Homeowner ], Jason Horst [ Jason ], George Hertzberg [ David ], Martin Braverman [ Izzy ], Amy Arnelle [ Marie ]

      rc: August, Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn, Judith

      The Solomons experience their first Christmas. Dick is disillusioned but finally gets the Christmas spirit. Sally gets a job wrapping presents at the mall. Harry takes a job as a mall Santa's assistant and discovers that he isn't the real Santa. Tommy tries to find the perfect present for August. Albright gets drunk on rum balls.

      b: 15 Dec 96 pc: 212 w: Bill Martin & Mike Schiff d: Robert Berlinger
    33. "Proud Dick"
      gs: Philip Baker Hall [ President Dewey ], Curis Andersen [ Dougy ], Laurence York [ Ron ], Bill Lee Brown [ Customer #1 ], John Maynard [ Customer #2 ]

      rc: Bug, Pitman, Father Rice

      Because of his pride over a parking space, Dick quits his job at the university and gets one at Rusty's Burgers. Harry loses his memory and becomes paranoid thinking aliens are taking over the world.

      b: 5 Jan 97 pc: 213 w: David Sacks d: Robert Berlinger
    34. "Romeo & Juliet & Dick"
      gs: Mike Ditka [ Coach Mafferty ], Richard Fancy [ Judege DeBelko ], Robert Lyon Rasner [ Timothy ], Anna Slotky [ Cheryl ], Mary Pat Green [ Diane ], Richard Karron [ Jimmy ], Joshsua Ekblom [ Benvolio ], Bart McCarthy [ Hamlet VO ]

      rc: Officer Don, August

      When Tommy asks Dick to direct his high school production of "Romeo and Juliet", Dick takes the role a little too seriously. Tommy works as the prop guy and when Mrs. Dubcek drinks Juliet's sleeping potion, Harry impersonates her and entertains her friends. Sally tries to get Officer Don to fix Albright's parking tickets and learns that he can't really do it.

      b: 12 Jan 97 pc: 214 w: Bonnie Turner & Kenny Turner d: Robert Berlinger
    35. "Guilty as Dick"
      gs: Richard McGonagle [ Doctor ], Jim O'Doherty [ Guy ]

      rc: Coach

      While doing a favor for Dr. Albright, Dick sprains his ankle and discovers the power of guilt. Harry, desiring his own room, moves into a tree house. Tommy uses Sally to sell chocolate for a school fund-raiser.

      b: 2 Feb 97 pc: 215 w: Dave Goetsch & Jason Venokur d: Robert Berlinger
    36. "Dick on One Knee"
      gs: Jim Pirri [ Michel ], Raye Birk [ Jeweler ], Lisa Simms [ Gabby ], Lewis Saunders [ INS Man ], David Kirkwood [ Yellin' Joe Slocum ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, August, Leon, Bug, Pitman

      A Frenchman asks Sally to marry him, so he can stay in the country. Sally plans her wedding and assigns duties to the family. Tommy discovers he has a talent for flower arranging and styling. Dick is inspired to discuss marriage with Albright.

      b: 16 Feb 97 pc: 217 w: Christine Zander d: Terry Hughes
    37. "Same Old Song and Dick"
      gs: Frank Kopyc [ Charlie ], P.B. Hutton [ Teacher ], Marcy Goldman [ Woman ]

      rc: August, Mrs. Dubcek, Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn

      When Dick attempts to get the magic back in his relationship, he learns it was never missing - their rut is really comfort. Sally and Harry switch jops. Sally discovers Harry's job is more difficult that it appears, while Harry finds himself enjoying the housework and having a purpose. Tommy finds, to his delight, that August is not perfect.

      b: 9 Mar 97 pc: 216 w: Katy Ballard d: Robert Berlinger
    38. "I Brake for Dick"
      gs: Bodhi Pine Elfman [ Orderly ], Nicki Lynn Aycox [ Alyson ]

      rc: August, Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn

      Consumed with guilt after running over a chipmunk, Dick becomes an animal rights activist, forcing his views on Albright and the family. Tommy writes a letter to an advice columnist after neglecting to ask August to the Spring Dance.

      b: 16 Mar 97 pc: 218 w: Gregg Mettler d: Robert Berlinger
    39. "Dick Behaving Badly"
      gs: J.J. Rodgers [ Bambi ], India Dupre [ Christina ], Tim Truby [ Dr. Talbert ], Darlene Levin [ Darlene ], Maureen Sue Levin [ Maureen ]

      rc: Judith, Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn, Dr. Strudwick

      When the family accuses Dick of being "whipped" by Albright, Harry helps him become his own man. Sally and Tommy have a showdown with the game Monopoly.

      b: 23 Mar 97 pc: 219 w: Bob Kushell d: Robert Berlinger
    40. "Dickmalion"
      gs: Henry Woronicz [ Mr. St. Clair ], Nancy Lenehan [ Mrs. St. Clair ], Justine Urich [ Romano ], Linda Cardellini [ Lorna ], James Ingersoll [ Mr. Patterson ], Sam Chew Jr. [ Man ], John Craig [ Kid ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, Elman

      When Albright fails to get "in" with Rutherford's high society, Dick ends up making the cut, but discovers it's not what it's cracked up to be; Sally and Harry try wrestling; to impress a girl, Tommy becomes a punk at school.

      b: 13 Apr 97 pc: 220 w: Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein d: Robert Berlinger
    41. "Sensitive Dick"
      gs: Greg Proops [ Yasmine ], Winifred Freeman [ Suzette ], Layne Beamer [ Jace ], Kyle Coleridger-Krough [ Elroy ]

      rc: Dr. Strudwick, Mrs. Dubcek, Officer Don, Prof. Suter, Vicki, Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn, Judith

      Dick is forced to take sensitivity training after he comes down too hard on his students and they make a complaint against him. Harry escorts Vicki to her high school reunion. Officer Don tries to teach Tommy how to drive.

      b: 27 Apr 97 pc: 221 w: David Sacks d: Terry Hughes
    42. "Will Work For Dick"
      gs: Sydney Berry [ Melanie ], Leslie Lunceford [ Girl #1 ], Whitney Dupree [ Girl #2 ]

      When an insulted Nina has had enough and quits, Harry becomes secretary to Dick and Dr. Albright.

      b: 4 May 97 pc: 223 w: Dave Goetsch & Jason Venokur d: Terry Hughes
    43. "Fifteen Minutes of Dick"
      gs: Justin Urich [ Romano ], Rif Hutton [ Bookstore Guy ], Michael Cervin [ Reporter ], Christopher Holloway [ Stage Manager ], Lori Hall [ Voice in Audience ], Mark Hamill [ Himself ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, August, Elman

      Sally becomes a pseudo celebrity when she beats up Mark Hamill in a restaurant, and Dick becomes jealous while Tommy's school life is affected by Sally's newfound fame. As Sally's assistant, Harry becomes obsessed with keeping Sally on top.

      b: 11 May 97 pc: 222 w: David Israel M. & Jim O'Dougherty d: Terry Hughes
    44. "Dick and the Single Girl"
      gs: Christine Baranski [ Librarian ], Alex Nevil [ Delivery Guy ], Rocehlle Robinson [ Waitress ]

      A shy and brainy librarian is attracted to Dick, while Sally realizes why she's attracted to Officer Don: his uniform. Meanwhile, Tommy and Harry write a "killer" episode of The X-Files.

      b: 11 May 97 pc: 224 w: ______________ d: ______________
    45. "A Nightmare on Dick Street (1)"
      gs: Brenda Strong [ Miss Frost ], Jim Pirri [ Antonio ], Kevin Scannell [ Dr. Goldberg ], Randy Newman [ Himself ], Kevin Farley [ Jehovah's Witness ], John A. Huoy [ Rico ], James Willington [ Borskey ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, Officer Don, Leon, Pitman, Judith

      When Dr. Albright announces she is going to Borneo for a year, Dick decides to ask her to marry him. Because of his anxiety Dick experiences his first nightmare leading the other aliens to believe that Dick's brain is breaking down creating more anxiety and nightmares for Sally and Tommy. Harry contacts the Big Giant Head so they can return for emergency maintenance. Dick decides to stay behind and risk dying as a human than to go back and chance not returning in Mary's lifetime.

      b: 18 May 97 pc: 225 w: Bill Martin & Mike Schiff & Bob Kushell d: Terry Hughes
    46. "A Nightmare on Dick Street (2)"
      gs: Brenda Strong [ Miss Frost ], Jim Pirri [ Antonio ], Kevin Scannell [ Dr. Goldberg ], Randy Newman [ Himself ], Kevin Farley [ Jehovah's Witness ], John A. Huoy [ Rico ], James Willington [ Borskey ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, Officer Don, Leon, Pitman, Judith

      When Dr. Albright announces she is going to Borneo for a year, Dick decides to ask her to marry him. Because of his anxiety Dick experiences his first nightmare leading the other aliens to believe that Dick's brain is breaking down creating more anxiety and nightmares for Sally and Tommy. Harry contacts the Big Giant Head so they can return for emergency maintenance. Dick decides to stay behind and risk dying as a human than to go back and chance not returning in Mary's lifetime.

      b: 18 May 97 pc: 226 w: Bill Martin & Mike Schiff & Bob Kushell d: Phil Joanou

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      3rd Season 1997

    47. "Fun with Dick and Janet (1)"
      gs: Roseanne [ Janet ]

      Dick receives an unpleasant order from the home planet on the hour-long third-season opener: he must marry the Big Giant Head's niece Janet. As Sally, Harry and Tommy escort Janet on the rocket to Earth, the bride-to-be sets out to prove that she's a true domestic goddess, brushing up on her skills by reading The Joy of Cooking, The Joy of Sex -- and The Joy of Yiddish. But a defiant Dick is sticking by Mary; whether Mary will stick by Dick is another question. Meanwhile, Janet's arrival in Rutherford is anything but quiet: Officer Don suspects that aliens have landed.

      b: 24 Sep 97 pc: 301 w: ______________ d: ______________
    48. "Fun with Dick and Janet (2)"
      gs: Roseanne [ Janet ]

      Dick receives an unpleasant order from the home planet on the hour-long third-season opener: he must marry the Big Giant Head's niece Janet. As Sally, Harry and Tommy escort Janet on the rocket to Earth, the bride-to-be sets out to prove that she's a true domestic goddess, brushing up on her skills by reading The Joy of Cooking, The Joy of Sex -- and The Joy of Yiddish. But a defiant Dick is sticking by Mary; whether Mary will stick by Dick is another question. Meanwhile, Janet's arrival in Rutherford is anything but quiet: Officer Don suspects that aliens have landed.

      b: 24 Sep 97 pc: 302 w: ______________ d: ______________
    49. "Tricky Dick"
      gs: Spencer Vrooman [ Dukes ], Justin Urich [ Romano ], Leigh J. McCloskey [ Matthew ], Carlos Cervantes [ Mechanic ], Chip Chinery [ Maintenance Guy ], Stephen Wilems [ Painter ]

      rc: Judith, Elman

      Dick and Mary take out their frustrations about their broken engagement on each other and begin an elaborate game of practical-joke one-upmanship, while Sally eyes her disinterested yoga instructor and Tommy reluctantly joins a garage band, with Harry as his roadie

      b: 8 Oct 97 pc: 305 w: Bill Martin & Mike Schiff d: Terry Hughes
    50. "Dick-In-Law"
      gs:

      rc:

      Dick inadvertently lets a huge skeleton out of Mary's parents' closet when he accompanies her on a trip to see her folks, while Sally adjusts to new closet space when she temporarily moves in with Nina.

      b: 15 Oct 97 pc: 304 w: Christine Zander d: Terry Hughes
    51. "Scaredy Dick"
      gs: Richard McGonagle [ Dr. Howard ], Emile Hirsch [ Punk ], Paige Segal [ Princess ],

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek

      Dick turns out to be a scaredy cat when faced with the prospect of a physical exam. Meanwhile, Sally and Tommy house-sit at Albright's house on Halloween night -- that's bad news for neighborhood trick-or-treaters -- and Harry stays home alone, except for some very weird noises coming from the basement.

      b: 29 Oct 97 pc: 306 w: David Sacks d: Terry Hughes


    52. "Moby Dick"
      gs:

      rc:

      Dick is forced to diet when he discovers he's put on an enormous amount of weight.

      b: 5 Nov 97 pc: 303 w: Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein d: Terry Hughes
    53. "Eleven Angry Men and One Dick"
      gs: Jason Carter [ Seth ], Justin Urich [ Romano ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, Leon, Bug, Caryn, Pitman

      Dick longs for the chance to administer his "unique brand of jurisprudence" when he's called for jury duty; Sally falls for an "artist" [ to Officer Don's chagrin ]; and Tommy and Harry help Albright with a "preverbal" project [ they must remain mute for five days ].

      b: 12 Nov 97 pc: 307 w: Dave Goetsch & Jason Venokur d: Terry Hughes
    54. "A Friend in Dick"
      gs: Peter Krause [ Peter Connelly ], Spencer Vrooman [ Dukes ], Steve Larson [ Larry ], Susanne Wright [ Woman ], Wendy Philpott [ Waitress ], Chad Enbinder [ Police Officer ], Lauren Tyreck [ Ms. Piazza ], Nancy Lee [ Mrs. De Guzman ], Brian Jacobs [ Handler #1 ], Sean Moran [ Ernie ]

      rc: Seth, Judith

      Sally may have a new boyfriend but Officer Don has a new friend: Dick. Meanwhile, Harry goes to night school.

      b: 19 Nov 97 pc: 308 w: Gregg Mettler d: Terry Hughes
    55. "Seven Deadly Clips"

      The Solomons reflect on their sinful ways in an episode that illustrates their misdeeds in clips from past episodes.

      b: 3 Dec 97 pc: _________ w: Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein d: Terry Hughes
    56. "Tom, Dick and Mary"
      gs:

      rc: Seth

      Dick, friendless after his breakup with Albright, tries to shoehorn Officer Don into his life as best friend and constant companion... with mixed results. Sally shanghais the slickly popular dancer Peter Connelly ("King of the Jig") to Johnny Foam's Cafe as a sacrificial lamb for her moody artist boyfriend Seth, and is horrified to learn that rather than the dark and tortured soul the fell for, Seth is a poseur... and a jig fan. Harry tries to get a job so he can buy Tommy some roller blades, but lacking the required diploma, he must first weather the indignities of night school.

      b: 3 Dec 97 pc: _________ w: ______________ d: ______________
    57. "Jailhouse Dick"
      gs:

      rc:

      Dick thinks he's doing the right thing when he offers to personally rehabilitate a criminal, but winds up doing more harm than good; Sally tries to help Mary find a new home for Pepper; and Harry struggles to complete a book report on Little Women.

      b: 17 Dec 97 pc: _________ w: ______________ d: ______________
    58. "Dick on a Roll"
      gs: Justin Urich [ Romano ], Nancy Becker Kennedy [ Billnitzer ], Joseph G. Medalis [ Chancellor ], John Platt [ Passerby ]

      rc: Vicki, Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn, Elman

      Dick hurts himself playing in a wheelchair, which puts him in one for real -- and turns him into an angry advocate for handicapped rights. Meanwhile, Dubcek's daughter Vicki visits but decides to become celibate, much to Harry's chagrin.

      b: 7 Jan 98 pc: 311 w: Dave Goetsch & Jason Venokur d: Terry Hughes
    59. "The Great Dickdater"
      gs: Patrick Finn [ Paul ], John Benjamin Hickey [ Rick ], Suanne Spoke [ Bibi ], Kathleen Garrett [ Celia ], Wendy Philpott [ Jena ], Brynn Harris [ Woman #1 ], Lesley Fera [ Woman #2 ], George Hale [ Guy #1 ], Paul DiMeo [ Guy #2 ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek

      Dick decides that it's time to date again, so he goes to Sally and Officer Don for advice; Harry and Tommy find a wallet with $200 in it, and return the money to the owner.

      b: 21 Jan 98 pc: w: David Sacks d: Terry Hughes
    60. "36! 24! 36! Dick! (1)"
      gs: Patrick Kerr [ Irving ], Chad Einbinder [ Rico ], Sonya Eddy [ Ticket Taker ], Shireen Crutchfield [ Kirsta ], Frank Clem [ Waiter ], Alex Kubik [ Counterman ], Diana Castle [ Saleswoman ], Jourdain Chapdelaine [ Perky Idiot #1 ], Shonda Whipple [ Perky Idiot #2 ], Roger Hewlitt [ Security Guard #1 ], Al Foster [ Security Guard #2 ], Brynn Hartman [ Venusian #1 ], Greg Gumbel [ Himself ], Irina Panaeva [ Gabriella ], Angie Everhart [ Chloe ], Cindy Crawford [ Mascha ], Beverly Johnson [ Prell ]

      rc: Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn, Judith

      Venusians disguised as gorgeous babes plot to plunder Earth of its riches in an uproarious episode that climaxes at Super Bowl XXXII in San Diego. When hordes of beautiful women start showing up in sleepy Rutherford, Ohio -- and seem enthusiastic about dating average Joes like Dick, Harry, Tommy, and Officer Don - Sally suspects that something's amiss. Before she can warn anyone that the women are really Venusians bent on dominating Earth, they discover her and force her to become one of them. The Solomon men embark on a country-wide search for Sally that ends at the Super Bowl, where the lethal lovelies have planned to unleash their most devastating weapon yet -- the ultimate beer commercial, designed to enslave mankind into coughing up the rest of their pricey consumer goods. In the supervixens' lair, the Solomon men seem defeated, but with the help of Sally, who only pretended to turn against them, and Venusian Mascha [ Cindy Crawford ], who's been won over by Harry's simple charms, Dick and company jam the commercial broadcast, explode the mother ship, and convince the supervixens that a career in modeling might suit them. Meanwhile, Albright and Nina's plans to attend the Super Bowl are thwarted when the Solomons steal their tickets to gain access to the Venusians, and back in Rutherford, Officer Don throws a decidedly low-key Super Bowl party.

      b: 25 Jan 98 pc: 313 w: Bill Martin & Mike Schiff & Christine Zander d: Terry Hughes

      NOTE: This episode initially followed immediately upon broadcast of the Super Bowl, which ended with John Lithgow as Dick Solomon breaking into the actual sports telecast with a hysterical warning to viewers that the aliens had landed.
    61. "36! 24! 36! Dick! (2)"
      gs: Patrick Kerr [ Irving ], Chad Einbinder [ Rico ], Sonya Eddy [ Ticket Taker ], Shireen Crutchfield [ Kirsta ], Frank Clem [ Waiter ], Alex Kubik [ Counterman ], Diana Castle [ Saleswoman ], Jourdain Chapdelaine [ Perky Idiot #1 ], Shonda Whipple [ Perky Idiot #2 ], Roger Hewlitt [ Security Guard #1 ], Al Foster [ Security Guard #2 ], Brynn Hartman [ Venusian #1 ], Greg Gumbel [ Himself ], Irina Panaeva [ Gabriella ], Angie Everhart [ Chloe ], Cindy Crawford [ Mascha ], Beverly Johnson [ Prell ]

      rc: Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn, Judith

      Venusians disguised as gorgeous babes plot to plunder Earth of its riches in an uproarious episode that climaxes at Super Bowl XXXII in San Diego. When hordes of beautiful women start showing up in sleepy Rutherford, Ohio -- and seem enthusiastic about dating average Joes like Dick, Harry, Tommy, and Officer Don - Sally suspects that something's amiss. Before she can warn anyone that the women are really Venusians bent on dominating Earth, they discover her and force her to become one of them. The Solomon men embark on a country-wide search for Sally that ends at the Super Bowl, where the lethal lovelies have planned to unleash their most devastating weapon yet -- the ultimate beer commercial, designed to enslave mankind into coughing up the rest of their pricey consumer goods. In the supervixens' lair, the Solomon men seem defeated, but with the help of Sally, who only pretended to turn against them, and Venusian Mascha (Crawford), who's been won over by Harry's simple charms, Dick and company jam the commercial broadcast, explode the mother ship, and convince the supervixens that a career in modeling might suit them. Meanwhile, Albright and Nina's plans to attend the Super Bowl are thwarted when the Solomons steal their tickets to gain access to the Venusians, and back in Rutherford, Officer Don throws a decidedly low-key Super Bowl party.

      b: 25 Jan 98 pc: 314 w: Bill Martin & Mike Schiff & Christine Zander d: Terry Hughes
    62. "Pickles and Ice Cream"
      gs: Bill Irwin [ Pickles ], Trisha Debski [ Wendy ], Scott Kloes [ Mark ], Denise Poirier [ Judy ], Audrey Kissel [ Angela ], Barbara Lee Bragg [ Karen ], David Combs [ Dr. Harris ], Mariah Nunn [ Jacque ], Cynthea Forbes [ Cindy ], Jim O'Doherty [ Clem ]

      Harry's pet follows him to Earth -- in human form; Sally visits her first gynecologist and decides to pretend she is pregnant.

      b: 28 Jan 98 pc: 315 w: Bob Kushell d: Terry Hughes
    63. "Auto EuroDicka"
      gs: Karen Austin [ Anita Palone ], Dom DeLuise [ Mr. Palone ], Terry Rhoads [ Bill ], Peter DeLuise [ Frank ], Margeurite Moreau [ Tina ], Christine Zander [ Woman ]

      rc: Bug, Leon, Pitman, Caryn, August

      Dick has casual sex with a woman he meets in line at the movies, then doesn't understand why Dr. Albright gets upset when he keeps talking about the encounter. Dick learns that the woman is the mother of one of his students, Bug, whose father and brothers pay a visit to Dick in an effort to teach him to show a little more respect. Sally decides she needs her own car, and she, Harry, and Tommy learn about the joys of shopping at a used car lot, where they learn that the salesman is decidedly not a "friend who's there to help."

      b: 4 Feb 98 pc: 316 w: Mark Brazill d: Terry Hughes
    64. "Stuck with Dick"
      gs: Miriam Flynn [ Joan Podesta ]

      Dick wants to get back together with Mary, so he's in luck when they find themselves locked in the school library overnight. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry and Tommy search for Dick. Their first (and only) stop: Mary's house.

      b: 25 Feb 98 pc: 317 w: David M. Israel & Jim O'Doherty d: Terry Hughes
    65. "Portrait of Tommy as an Old Man"
      gs:

      Tommy, tired of having to handle all of the "kid" duties [ when in reality he's the oldest member of the mission ], decides to retire. After he spends some time at a retirement home, he changes his mind, realizing that a big part of what makes you old is acting -- and being treated - like your old. Dick, thinking that Mary is anguished because she never got a chance to fulfill her fantasy of becoming a torch singer, tries to help her to realize that dream. He learns that sometimes the choices we make between two career paths can be right on the money. In a moment of weakness, Officer Don steals a pair of Sally's panties, and makes a series of vain attempts to return them without being caught in the act.

      b: 25 Feb 98 pc: 318 w: ______________ d: ______________
    66. "My Daddy's Little Girl"
      gs: George Grizzard [ Mr. Albright ], Sam Lloyd [ Eddie ]

      Albright's father walks out on his wife and into Sally's life, while Harry walks into Rutherford College's vacant radio studio and begins his career as a shock jock.

      b: 1 Apr 98 pc: 319 w: Mark Brazill & Christine Zander d: Terry Hughes
    67. "The Physics of Being Dick"
      gs: Jim O'Doherty [ Carl ], Dublin James [ Vinny ], Jordan Brower [ Steve ], Wayne Pere [ Jonesy ], Jeff Doucette [ Chet ], John Platt [ Man ]

      rc: August, Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn, Judith, Doug

      Dick demands that Sally and Harry go to work, so she signs on as Albright's research assistant and he gets a job tending bar. Then Dick decides on a career change for himself (he wants to be a cop) after a disastrous Career Day at Tommy's school.

      b: 15 Apr 98 pc: 323 w: David Schiff d: Terry Hughes
    68. "Just Your Average Dick (1)
      gs: John Cleese [ Dr. Liam Neesam ], Amanda Carlin [ Flora ], John Hillner [ Steve ], Carey Eidel [ Jeff ], Christopher Liam Moore [ Waiter ]

      rc: August, Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn

      John Cleese puts his zaniness to good use in a two-part guest shot as a new professor who's even nuttier than Dick. And smarter. He's hotshot Dr. Liam Neesam, and he's a little too good at everything he does. He makes his first appearance in Part 1, as Albright (Curtin) is getting fed up with the fact that Dick -- and the rest of the Solomons, for that matter -- are "weird." "It's like being around the Addams Family," she moans. So Dick sets out to make his brood "average," and succeeds so completely that Albright finds him boring. Enter the off-kilter Dr. Neesam, who she thinks is kind of charming.

      b: 28 Apr 98 pc: 320 w: Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein d: Terry Hughes
    69. "Dick and the Other Guy (2)"
      gs: John Cleese [ Dr. Neesam ], Steve Larson [ Larry ], Jill Matson [ Jill ], Tangie Ambrose [ Lisa ]

      Dick has a rival for the title of Pendelton's nuttiest professor -- and a rival for Albright's affections -- with the arrival of the mysterious Dr. Liam Neesam. Meanwhile, Sally feels that she's losing her touch with men after Don seems to lose interest in her.

      b: 28 Apr 98 pc: 321 w: Bonnie Turner & Terry Turner d: Terry Hughes
    70. "Sally and Don's First Kiss"
      gs: Steve Larson [ Larry ], Nancy Yee [ Mrs. DeGuzman ]

      rc: Judith, Lucy

      Sally turns to romance novels for inspiration when it's time for her first kiss with Officer Don. Unfortunately, whether they try it on a windy, moonlit bluff or in the Solomons' kitchen, the kiss just isn't special enough. Sally becomes resigned to breaking up with Don, but when she goes to the police stable to tell him, the magical combination of horses, thunder, lightning, and Don's newfound forcefulness combine to make Sally realize Don's the guy for her after all. Dick is perturbed because Lucy the cafeteria lady charges him -- and only him -- for crackers. Realizing he has no control over her inexplicable dislike for him allows him to free himself from being bothered by her unjust treatment. Harry graduates from night school, and he and fellow classmates Mrs. DeGuzman and Larry reminisce about all the great times they had together during their ten-week enrollment.

      b: 6 May 98 pc: 322 w: David Sacks d: Terry Hughes
    71. "When Aliens Camp"
      gs:

      Dick takes the family camping as a mission bonding activity. At the campsite, the family and Mary all become angry with Dick -- the family because he lies about bringing Mary along after he tells them it's "family only," and Mary because he tells her the family doesn't mind she's coming along. After they all cast him out, Dick goes off by himself and attempts to form a new society with a troop of Beaver Scouts he encounters. The Solomons assume Dick is lost and set out to find him. They (especially Sally, who resents her command being usurped) initially reject Mary's offers of help in finding Dick... until they realize she knows a lot more about the outdoors than they do.

      b: 13 May 98 pc: 324 w: David M. Israel & Jim O'Doherty s: Gregg Mettler d: Terry Hughes
    72. "The Tooth Harry"
      gs: Eddie Allen [ Dr. Bankson ], Chad Einbinder [ Rico ], Jeff Doucette [ Chet ]

      rc: Judith

      Mary is asked to appear in a new Pendelton University promotional video. Dick whines until he is also allowed to participate. Unfortunately, neither of them shares the director's vision of what their "performances" should be like, and they are unceremoniously replaced by other "actors" (including Tommy). Harry volunteers to drive Nina to the dentist. A romance develops, but fizzles when the money Harry leaves under Nina's pillow as a Tooth Fairy reward is misinterpreted, and Nina, highly offended, throws him out. Officer Don gives Sally a key to his apartment, but his glee soon turns to gloom when she starts seeing the place as less of a love nest and more of a one-woman party zone that she can trash whenever she wants to. When Don calls her attention to her inconsiderate behavior, she apologizes -- but he still takes back his key.

      b: 20 May 98 pc: 325 w: ______________ d: ______________
    73. "Eat, Drink, Mary"
      gs: Phil Hartman [ Randy ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, Vicki

      The Solomons wind up their third season -- and perhaps their mission on Earth -- with a romantic dinner party that turns predictably raucous. The chef is Tommy, who has just "come out" as a gourmet. The guests: Dick and Mary, Don and Sally and Harry and Mrs. Dubcek's amorous daughter Vicki, who is back in his life. The trouble is, Vicki's jealous ex-boyfriend is hot on her trail. He's also hot to "put a hurt" on the competition and kidnaps Harry just before he transmits a message from the Big Giant Head. The other Solomons miss the communiqué, which promises devastating consequences for the family.

      b: 20 May 98 pc: 326 w: David Goetsch & Jason Venokur d: Terry Hughes

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      List

      4th Season 1998

      Production credits:
      Executive producers: Bonnie Turner & Terry Turner, Tom Werner, Caryn Madaback, Marcy Carsey, Bill Martin and Mike Schiff
      Co-executive producer: David Sacks
      Supervising producers: Bob Kushell, Christine Zander
      Producers: Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein, David M. Israel & Jim O'Doherty
      Produced by Patrick Kienlen
      Co-producers: Dave Goetsch & Jason Venokur
      Story editor: Greg Mettler
      Executive consultant: Terry Hughes


    74. "Doctor Solomon's Traveling Alien Show"
      gs: Larry Miller [ Garvin ], Ed Gale [ Oscar ], Arturo Gil [ Lars ], John Valdetero [ Giganticus ], Alex Alexander [ Tiffany ], Teresa Parente [ Dahlia ]

      rc: Vicki, Mrs. Dubcek

      Discovering that Harry has been kidnapped, the other aliens search for him, somewhat handicapped by the fact that the Big Giant Head is punishing them for not filing their reports by shutting down Dick's higher brain functions.

      b: 23 Sep 98 pc: 402 w: Christine Zander d: Terry Hughes

      NOTE: The late Phil Hartman, who was murdered between the two seasons, appears, uncredited, in a flashback to the previous episode.
    75. "Power Mad Dick"
      gs: Chad Einbinder [ Rico ], Sid Newman [ Phelps ], Jorge Luis Abreu [ Ron ], Bill Chott [ Fredf ], Jim Jackman [ Vanetta ], Lawrence A. Mandley [ Carlos ]

      rc: Judith, Lucy, Mrs. Dubcek

      When Mary is named the new dean, Dick assumes her power also applies to him, and wastes no time in firing his nemesis from the lunchroom, Lucy -- who immediately files a grievance. Meanwhile, an excited Sally prepared to lose her virginity to Don, but finds herself unable to discuss the event with anyone.

      b: 7 Oct 98 pc: 401 w: David Sacks d: Terry Hughes
    76. "Feelin' Albright"
      gs: Elizabeth Anne Smith [ Tina ], Nicolas Coster [ Chancellor Stevens ], Carol Mansell [ Mrs. Smith ], Susan Bjurman [ Mrs. Guthridge ], Ruth De Sosa [ Laura ], Andrea Harper [ Saleswoman ]

      rc: Lucy, Dr. Strudwick

      When Sally learns that she's not Don's first girlfriend, she is consumed with retrospective jealousy and determines to track down his exes. Meanwhile, Dick learns what it's like to be the dean's boyfriend when everyone ignores him at a function except the other "faculty wives". He decides to prove his worth by staging a fashion show to raise money for repairs to the campus statue, but succeeds in raising only $100 above expenses. Meanwhile, Harry and Tommy "creep out" Mrs. Dubcek by setting themselves up in business with a lemonade stand.

      b: 14 Oct 98 pc: 403 w: Bob Kushell d: Terry Hughes
    77. "Collect Call for Dick"
      gs: Peter Jurasik [ Principal ], Peggy Miley [ The Columbian ], J.P. Manoux [ Clerk ], Christine Zander [ Herself ], Erika Christensen [ Brianna ], Dorian Frankel [ Customer ], John Platt [ P.A. Announcer ]

      rc: Coach

      After Dick almost bites into a "Fuzzy Buddy" in a fast-food restaurant burger, he becomes obsessed with the collectibles. Meanwhile, Tommy goes overboard on school spirit when he becomes the basketball team's mascot. The Solomons confront the collector mentality when they discover Fuzzy Buddies -- highly collectible small plush animal toys. Sally enjoys the thrill of the hunt and the prospects for financial rewards, Harry just thinks they're cute, but for Dick it's deeper -- he enjoys the sensation of collecting until it gets to be like a drug for him, and his family and friends have to do an intervention. In an effort to instill "pep" into Tommy, the basketball coach forces him to become the team mascot, "Hootie the Owl." Initially contemptuous, Tommy finds that folks (especially cute cheerleaders) dig him when he's in costume, and the power goes to his head. When the team loses, Tommy, high on school spirit, tackles the coach, landing him in the principal's office.

      b: 21 Oct 98 pc: 404 w: David M. Israel & Jim O'Doherty d: Terry Hughes
    78. "What's Love Got To Do, Got To Do With Dick?"
      gs: Laurie Metcalf [ Jennifer ], Obi Ndfero [ Eric ], Chip Chinery [ Workman ]

      rc: Lucy, Doug

      Dick, frustrated because busy dean Mary never seems to have time for him, finds himself increasingly enchanted with his new officemate, Jennifer. Confused by his feelings, he vows to resist the attraction, but it's too much for him -- they kiss. Sally tries to fix Nina up with Don's friend Eric, then takes it as a personal insult when it doesn't turn out to be a love match. She schemes to bring them back together, but the only passion she manages ito ignite between them is their rabid dislike for each other -- hardly a satisfying victory for Sally. Tommy fixes up the "Love Tester" machine at the bar where Hary works, then is miffed that he can't make it go higher than "Cold Fish."

      b: 28 Oct 98 pc: 405 w: Bill Martin & Mike Schiff d: Terry Hughes
    79. "I Am Dick Pentameter!"
      gs: Laurie Metcalf [ Jennifer ]

      Dick tells Mary he thinks they should see other people, and she laughingly agrees, not knowing he already has a candidate lined up--new officemate Jennifer. Dick is fascinated by Jennifer's intoxicating giggle, her adorable penchant for rhyming, and the brave way she copes with her numerous food allergies. Just as a furious Albright learns of Dick's new dalliance, he begins to grow less and less enchanted with Jennifer's eccentricities (particularly the rhyming), and to regret ever having ended things with Mary. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry, and Tommy question the limited functions of the kitchen and the living room, and decide to design an über-room with the best elements of each--"the Klivingtchen."

      b: 4 Nov 98 pc: 406 w: Dave Goetsch & Jason Venokur d: Terry Hughes
    80. "D3: Judgement Day"
      gs: Laurie Metcalf [ Jennifer ], William Mesnik [ Maitre d' ]

      Dick decides to dump Jennifer and finagle his way back into Mary's heart as an uproarious three-part romantic misadventure concludes. Dick, who has been driven to distraction by Jennifer's allergies and constant rhyming, is in luck, at least as far as Mary is concerned: she's seen him with Jennifer and is willing to eat some crow to win him back. It would seem that Dick holds all the cards. Now all he has to do is play them. Meanwhile, Officer Don turns Sally on to the joys of bowling, and comes to wish that he hadn't.

      b: 11 Nov 98 pc: 407 w: Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein d: Terry Hughes
    81. "Indecent Dick"
      gs: Tim Haldeman [ Mr. Kraft ], Dave Gruber Allen [ Arthur ]

      rc: Alissa, Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn

      When Playpen magazine arrives at Pendelton for a model search, the Solomons react to the issue of nudity in different ways. The idea intrigues Sally, who decides to pose---which infuriates Don, who chooses to cancel his lifetime subscription. As for Dick, he encourages Sally, but becomes apoplectic when he learns that Mary posed for art photos 20 years before. And Harry? He simply takes off his clothes. "I just wanted to find out if this whole clothes thing is just a big scam," he explains. Meanwhile, Tommy's overdressed: he wants to impress his new lab partner Alissa.

      b: 9 Dec 98 pc: 410 w: Bob Kushell d: Terry Hughes
    82. "Happy New Dick!"
      gs: Steve Larson [ Larry ], Jim Beaver [ Doug ], Jeff Doucette [ Chet ], Nancy Yee [ Mrs. Dagarmau ]

      rc: Judith, Doug, Dr. Strudwick

      As the New Year approaches, Dick is in despair because he feels he hasn't accomplished anything all year. Meanwhile, Don gives Sally a necklace, then earrings, for Christmas but she wants more. Dick, pondering the significance of New Year's Eve, fears that he's done nothing of consequence in 1998. When he mistakenly thinks it's midnight a few minutes early, he embraces Mary and dances with her in the snow -- a perfect moment that he later realizes was not only his most meaningful act of 1998, but also a lovely way to start 1999. Harry hires Larry and Mrs. DeGuzman to work at Happy Doug's Bar with him, but they're both so dang lazy, he fires them both on New Year's Eve. Officer Don gets upset that Sally takes advantage of his nice-guy nature, and he lays down the law -- her cutesy, little-girl cajoling will no longer work on him. Sally realizes that with her feminine appeal comes a great deal of responsibility for using it benevolently, and she vows to do better in the New Year. Tommy, the party coordinator for Happy Doug's big celebration, is completely frazzled by the enormous responsibility of helping Rutherford ring in the New Year.

      b: 15 Dec 98 pc: 409 w: Christine Zander d: Terry Hughes
    83. "Two-Faced Dick"
      gs: Chad Einbinder [ Rico ], Mike Grief [ Riff ], Jim Maniaci [ Raff ]

      rc: Mrs. Dubcek, Doug, Leon, Pitman, Caryn

      The Big Giant Head grants Sally's three-year-old request for a "gender reassignment" - and switches her body with Dick's. Meanwhile, Harry takes over Happy Doug's bar while Doug is on vacation. Responding to a three-year-old request from Sally that she be given a male body, the Big Giant Head switches Sally's body with Dick's. Each of them has to cope with all the thorny details of gender reassignment, including such specifics as how to deal with men's catcalls, and where to find cute shoes in Dick's size. Plus, each of them has to successfully maintain the other's romantic relationship. They each get as far as a kiss, but before things go any further, their request to switch back is granted, leaving them both far more knowledgeable about what it's like to be a member of the opposite sex. Also, vacationing Doug leaves Harry in charge of the bar, which turns ugly when some tough-looking bikers start hanging out there. Just when Harry and Tommy have decided that the bikers aren't such bad fellows after all, they rob the place, leaving it in a shambles.

      b: 5 Jan 99 pc: 411 w: Gil Goldberg d: Terry Hughes
    84. "Dick Solomon of the Indiana Solomons"
      gs: Kurtwood Smith [ Jacob ], Elsa Raven [ AUnt Florence ], Jack Carter [ Uncle Abe ], Christine Larken [ Michelle ], Courtney Feldon [ Janice ], Jeanine Jackson [ Claire ], Julie Claire [ Jenny ], Cynthia Frost [ Aunt Sylvia ]

      Dick receives an invitation to a family reunion that was meant for someone else, but decides to put down 'roots' and pass himself off as Richard Solomon, the long-missing nephew of Abe and Florence Solomon in Indiana. But acquiring an extended family proves to have its drawbacks when Dick, Sally Harry and Tommy go to Indiana with Mary to meet their new relatives and discover the reason why the real Richard Solomon dropped out of sight 43 years ago. While Harry immediately clicks with crotchety Uncle Abe, Cousin Jacob is decidedly frosty to Dick. Meanwhile, Cousin Janine is more than frosty (she's downright freaked) when Tommy tries to get friendly with her. "We're very distant cousins," he wails. "You have no idea how distant we are."

      b: 12 Jan 99 pc: 408 w: Gregg Mettler d: Terry Hughes
    85. "Dick and Taxes"
      gs: Jim Jansen [ Mr. Ginek ], Susan Ilene Johnson [ Linda ], Melissa Egan [ Nellie ], Sally Ann Brooks [ Verna ]

      rc: Doug

      After three years on the planet, the Solomons finally learn about an organization called the IRS. They also learn that they owe it $9500. What to do? Dick's idea: "We can lie." Dick's never paid taxes, and after trying to fill out the forms himself, he enlists Mary's help. When he sees how much he owes, he decides to be the only American ever to think of the brilliant idea of cheating on his taxes. When Dick gets an audit notice, Tommy has to fudge an explanation for what each family member has been doing for the past six years. The auditor, however, doesn't buy any of it -- even the "we're aliens" defense, which he's heard before. The Solomons agree to pay their hefty tax bill, and thank their lucky stars their true identities are still a secret. As part of the tax deception, Sally pretends she had a failed home business -- a hair salon -- but when she puts up the sign, women start pouring in. Sally enjoys the camaraderie and the gossip, but never quite gets the hang of cutting hair, and with no repeat business, the salon fails for real.

      b: 2 Feb 99 pc: 415 w: d: Terry Hughes
    86. "Sally Forth"
      gs: Blake Swendson [ Elman ], Tim Haldeman [ Mr. Kraft ]

      rc: Alissa, Vicki

      When Sally tells Officer Don she can't take living with Dick, Harry, and Tommy anymore, he assumes that she wants him to propose. Sally realizes, however, that what she really wants is to start living as an independent woman, and they tearfully break off their engagement. When Dick has a tenant-landlord dispute with the Dubceks, he casts Harry out of the family for consorting with the enemy. The situation escalates to the point where Dick, frozen and filthy, is reduced to squatting in his apartment without benefit of heat or lights. The feud ends when Dick realizes he was so preoccupied that he didn't pay attention to an important milestone in Sally's life -- her all-too-brief engagement. When Alissa, the girl of his dreams, gets detention, Tommy works hard to get punished as well, in the hopes that it will provide him with the perfect opportunity to ask her out.

      b: 9 Feb 99 pc: 412 w: David Sacks d: Terry Hughes
    87. "Paranoid Dick"
      gs: Nicolas Coster [ Chancellor Stewart ], Bryan Cranston [ Neil ], Diane Delano [ Lorraine ], Jill Matson [ Ginger ], Kelly Sells [ Lounge Person ]

      rc: Lucy, Judith, Vicki

      Albright's feeling a little uncertain about her waning power at the college, and Dick eggs her on into full-blown paranoia. As a result, she gets caught breaking into another professor's office looking for evidence of a nonexistent conspiracy against her, and winds up losing her deanship. Meanwhile, Vicki Dubcek convinces Sally that the perfect thing to help her get over her breakup with Don is a weekend of riverboat gambling on the Cincinnati Queen. Vicki and Sally engage in the rituals of backstage flirtation with a seductive Neil Diamond impersonator. Harry manages to win big at gambling without getting hooked, but loses all of his winnings to the lure of the casino gift shop.

      b: 16 Feb 99 pc: 414 w: David M. Israel & Jim Dougherty d: Terry Hughes
    88. "The House That Dick Built"
      gs: Sara Ballantine [ Mrs. Wheeler ], Matt McKenzie [ Mr. Wheeler ]

      rc: Alissa, Vicki

      Dick feels like his control over the mission is falling to pieces when Sally decides to move out, and Harry considers having a baby with Vicki Dubcek. Dick tries to sabotage Sally's attempts to find a new place, but Sally decides to rent the apartment over Mrs. Dubcek's garage, Dick breaks in, posing as an intruder, to scare Sally into moving back home, but she beats the tar out of him. Meanwhile, Harry's debating whether or not he should have a baby with Vicki because he's unsure, both of his and Vicki's parenting abilities, and of the consequences of human/alien interbreeding. The two of them drop in on the house where Tommy's helping Alissa baby-sit so Harry can take the baby for a "test drive." When he sees how good Vicki is with the baby, he knows everything's going to be fine. Also, Tommy tries to figure out whether or not he's officially Alissa's "boyfriend."

      b: 23 Feb 99 pc: 413 w: Bill Martin & Mike Schiff d: Terry Hughes
    89. "Superstitious Dick"
      gs: Chip Chinery [ Janitor ], Rick Cramer [ Stenstrom ], John Eric Bentley [ Todd ], Mimi Cozzens [ Hamilton ], Michael Ensign [ Fordham ], Van Epperson [ Bill ], Lyndsey Fields [ Louise ], Kim Robillard [ Howard ], John Platt [ Vendor ]

      rc: Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn, Alissa, Justin

      Dick receives a chain letter, but hesitates to discard it when he sees all of the ill fortune that befalls Mary after she scoffs and tosses hers out. When Dick does throw his away, he worries that he won't receive the prestigious physics grant he's applied for, and becomes obsessed with oddball charms and superstitious behaviors he thinks will bring him luck. What he doesn't realize until too late is that his weird behavior itself has caused him to lose the grant. Sally discovers the wonders of the Hardware Stop Superstore with the help of hunky and extremely competent employee Justin, and begins concocting problems just to spend time with him. Harry, whose orange shirt looks exactly like the Hardware Stop uniform, is baffled when other customers keep asking him to help them make keys, weigh bags of nails, and answer hardware questions. Also, chagrined that Alissa seems to have a massive crush on the Rutherford Ice Hogs' star hockey player, Tommy becomes concerned that he's not manly enough.

      b: 2 Mar 99 pc: 416 w: Gregg Mettler d: Terry Hughes
    90. "Y2dicK"
      gs: Richard McGonagle [ Dr. Howard ], Christopher Newman [ Caleb ], John Hudy [ Salesman ], Jake Thomas [ Kid ]

      rc: Vicki, Leon, Bug, Alissa

      Dick, who's never figured out computers, decides it's time to get plugged in. He discovers e-mail and the internet, and withdraws completely from the physical world, relying on take-out food, chat rooms, and live video feeds, and shutting out people, fresh air, and sunlight. When Mary tries to drag him away, he knocks over a Big Gulp cup, shorting out his system. Venturing outside to find the fuse box, Dick realizes that his computer wasn't keeping him connected to the world -- it was keeping him separated. Sally and Tommy go to buy a new TV set, but the more they learn about the available technology, the less satisfied they are with each purchase they make, until they've upgraded themselves into near-bankruptcy. Sadder but wiser, they return their expensive audiovisual equipment to the store. Also, Harry's all for trying to have a baby with Vicki, until the whole medical-science part of it makes it impossible for him to get in the mood. He tells Vicki it's the natural way or no way, and, turned on by his primal-ness, she agrees.

      b: 16 Mar 99 pc: 417 w: Dave Goetsch & Jason Venokur d: Terry Hughes
    91. "Dick the Mouth Solomon"
      gs: Kevin Nealon [ Dennis Caslow ], Anthony Tyler Quinn [ Sam the Butcher Marchetti ], Donna Ponterotto [ Waitress ], Jonathan Nichols [ Bartender ]

      rc: Vicki

      Sally meets a suave Italian-American man at a restaurant. He woos her, and when she learns he goes by the name of Sammy "The Butcher" Marchetti, she and Tommy are thrilled because they assume he's a mobster. Sammy asks Tommy to run errands for him, and Tommy's excited to be working as -- he assumes -- a bag man for the Mob. When Sally and Tommy learn that Sam's not actually a Mafioso but a real butcher, his appeal fades, and they both lose interest in him. Mary, concerned that she and Dick need to work on their communication skills, convinces him to go to a couples retreat. To her dismay, her good intentions get turned around as everyone there -- including Harry and Vicki, the poster children for public displays of affection -- embraces Dick for his openness, and criticizes Mary for her emotional unavailability.

      b: 6 Apr 99 pc: 418 w: Christine Zander & Bob Kushell d: Terry Hughes
    92. "Citizen Solomon"
      gs: Susan Ruttan [ Cathy ], Blake Swendson [ Elman ], Peter Jurasik [ Principal Greschner ], Eric Jungmann [ Jerry ], Mark Ankeny [ Husband ]

      rc: Alissa, August

      Now that Sally's moved out and won't clean for them anymore, the male Solomons decide that it's time to get a maid. They hire Mary's cleaning woman, Cathy, an inscrutable woman who makes their place sparkle. Overwhelmed by the results, the Solomons begin thinking of Cathy less as help and more as a treasured family member -- despite the fact that Cathy gives them no encouragement to do so. Meanwhile, Sally, jealous of the guys' affection for Cathy, decides that she'll turn the tables -- if Cathy can "steal" Sally's family, Sally can steal Cathy's. Finally, Cathy, tired of the Solomons' intrusion into her private life, quits. Also, Tommy joins the staff of the school paper and is made editor, displaying a penchant for unearthing scandals both real and imagined. Busy with his new duties, Tommy assigns ex-girlfriend August to review Alissa in "My Fair Lady." August's review is unflattering but honest, and Tommy, true to his journalistic ideals, decides to run it. When confronted by a tearful Alissa, however, Tommy buckles, shifting blame to his "biased" ex-girlfriend's desire to destroy his happiness.

      b: 29 Apr 99 pc: 420 w: Chris Haywood d: Terry Hughes
    93. "Alien Hunter"
      gs: Kathy Bates [ Charlotte Everly ], Dorian Gregory [ Byron ], Chuck Roy [ Ned ]

      rc: Leon, Bug, Pitman, Caryn, Judith, August

      A mysterious woman, Charlotte [ Kathy Bates ], turns up in Dick's life, claiming first to be auditing his class, then to be writing an article about him, then to be an "intellectual groupie." She charms Sally, Tommy, and Harry, who are happy to oblige when she offers to help plan the surprise birthday party that Dick has demanded they throw him. Dick is too busy having his ego stroked, and the family is too busy being grateful for her help, to wonder what Charlotte's real story is -- which they regret when they learn she's an alien hunter, come to dissect Dick's brain with the help of her hulking son, Ned. Although Charlotte's called all the invitees to tell them the party's canceled, they begin showing up anyway, interrupting the skull-cutting process. Ned ties them all up in Mrs. Dubcek's basement. Sally, Harry, Tommy, Don, and the others run upstairs just as the FBI arrives to capture Charlotte, a well-known crackpot who has mistakenly thought any number of innocent citizens to be aliens. The Solomons remain unharmed and undetected... for now.

      b: 4 May 99 pc: 422 w: Bonnie Turner & Terry Turner d: Terry Hughes
    94. "Dick vs. Strudwick"
      gs: Chad Einbinder [ Rico ], Jonathan Palmer [ Herve ], E.J. Callahan [ Sid ], Jack Kutcher [ Chester ], Alexander Folk [ Jack ]

      rc: Alisaa, Judith, Dr. Strudwick

      Dick's faculty nemesis, Dr. Vincent Strudwick, writes a physics book that's hailed as a work of genius. When Dick realizes that writing a better book would expose him as a superior alien being, he seeks another means of getting even, finally seizing on Strudwick's displeasure at learning that his teenage daughter Alissa is dating dreaded Solomon spawn Tommy. Dick manipulates Alissa to cause trouble between her and her father, and the conflict comes to a head at the taping of a TV panel show about Strudwick's book, which erupts into Jerry Springer-style fisticuffs. Meanwhile, Sally and Don, feeling "lonely" since their breakup, find themselves succumbing to "ex sex." Also, once Albright befriends a group of misfit Nobel laureates who are in town to hail the publication of Strudwick's book, she can't shake them -- they've imprinted on her like a litter of helpless kittens.

      b: 11 May 99 pc: 422 w: David M. Israel & Jim O'Doherty s: Gregg Mettler d: Terry Hughes
    95. "Near Dick Experience"
      gs: Chad Einbinder [ Rico ], Jonathan Palmer [ Herve ], E.J. Callahan [ Sid ], Jack Kutcher [ Chester ], Alexander Folk [ Jack ]

      rc: Alissa, Judith, Dr. Strudwick

      When Sally, Harry, and Tommy narrowly miss being crushed by a chandelier at a restaurant, their near-death experience fills them with a new reverence for life -- and fills Dick with jealousy that he wasn't able to share this deep experience. The newly enlightened trio volunteers at a soup kitchen for the homeless, and Dick signs up for a wilderness hiking trip with Mary, hoping like the dickens that he'll lose his footing and find serenity via a near-death experience of his own. While Dick is trying desperately to have his own near-miss with death, the others learn that their new appreciation for every leaf, every bird, and every fellow man is fading rapidly with the passage of every hour. Sally, Tommy, and Harry have just about returned to being their blasé, uncaring selves just as Dick joins them on the roof, bursting with news about how he's just managed to escape death's clutches in a car accident. Now Dick's found a new love for life, but he's still the odd man out.

      b: 18 May 99 pc: 421 w: Dave Goetsch & Jason Venokur s: David Sacks d: Terry Hughes
    96. "Dick's Big Giant Headache (1)"
      gs: William Shatner [ Big Giant Head ], Rick Hall [ Limo Driver ], Laura Wernette [ Tasha ], Aaron Paul [ Student ], Amy Smallman [ Nurse ], Bill Chott [ Cable Guy ]

      rc: Vicki, Alisaa, Doug

      The Big Giant Head announces his plans to visit the Solomons in person to chastise them for their poor mission performance. Dick tells Sally to move back in, orders Harry to stop trying to father a baby with Vicki, and tries to prepare Mary for the arrival of his old "college chum," worrying privately that the supreme leader might not find her to have been a suitable use of his time. The family goes to the airport to meet the Big Giant Head (William Shatner), a drunken good-time charlie who's taken the name of "Stone Phillips," and who, in short order, moves in and takes over their lives. Dick quickly loses favor with Stone, who's unimpressed both by his choice of girlfriend and his leadership skills. Stone is, however, quite taken by everything about Sally, especially the length of her legs and the shape of her torso, and decides to make her the High Commander instead of Dick. Meanwhile, Harry keeps trying to avoid Vicki, but eventually he tells her that they need to cool the baby thing for a while, and she runs away from him in tears. Also, although he's initially unenthusiastic, Tommy plans to attend the junior prom because it's so important to Alissa. Vicki is sad to hear all the prom talk -- she never got to go to hers, and she's felt the lack ever since.

      b: 25 May 99 pc: 423 w: Bill Martin & Mike Schiff d: Terry Hughes
    97. "Dick's Big Giant Headache (2)"
      gs: William Shatner [ Big Giant Head ], Rick Hall [ Limo Driver ], Laura Wernette [ Tasha ], Aaron Paul [ Student ], Amy Smallman [ Nurse ], Bill Chott [ Cable Guy ]

      rc: Vicki, Alisaa, Doug

      Reeling in the aftermath of his demotion, Dick has to get used to taking orders from everyone else in the crew -- even Harry -- a humiliating experience that makes it difficult for him to perform sexually. Even though she didn't want to believe the family's taunts about the reasons for her promotion, Sally finally realizes Stone only made her High Commander because of her looks. Stone makes a pass at Albright, who declines and tells Dick, who's psyched that Stone's changed his mind about Mary. Stone goes to the prom with Tommy and Alissa, where a drunken Stone dumps a punchbowl over Alissa's head, then serenades the promgoers -- including a bedazzled Vicki, who decided it was finally time to attend her junior prom -- with "Close To You." In the high school hallway, Stone encounters Vicki and "beams" her up to his "bachelor pod" for some lovin'. The next morning, Vicki turns up pregnant, and her pregnancy develops to full term in a matter of moments. Stone, who had been planning to make Earth his base of operations, gets the uncontrollable urge to flee once he learns of Vicki's pregnancy, leaving Sally in charge. The Solomons and Albright rush Vicki to the hospital, where the nurse proclaims, "I can see the head. Boy, is that a big head..."

      b: 25 May 99 pc: 424 w: Michael Glouberman & Andrew Orenstein d: Terry Hughes

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      5th Season 1999

    98. "Episode I: the Baby Menace"
      gs: Curtis Armstrong [ Ken Fretts ], Jeff Austin [ Doctor ], Kevin Ruf [ New Father ]

      rc: Vicki

      Greatly relieved when Vicki's baby turns out to be human, the aliens are freshly alarmed to discover that she intends to sell her story to the tabloids.

      b: 21 Sep 99 pc: 501 w: David M. Israel & Jim O'Doherty d: Terry Hughes
    99. "Dick for Tat"
      gs: Kim Johnston Ulrich [ Dorothy Strudwick ], Richard McGonagle [ Dr. Howard ], Cesar Herrera [ Manolito ], Jacqueline Torres [ Mrs. Manolito ]

      rc: Alissa, Dr. Strudwick, Rico

      After he learns that Mary once had a fling with Dr. Strudwick, Dick determines that he must retaliate -- but he has to convince Mrs. Strudwick to take part in his plan.

      b: 28 Sep 99 pc: 502 w: Bill Martin & Mike Schiff d: Terry Hughes
    100. "The Fifth Solomon"
      gs: Bob Odenkirk [ Gary ], Joel McCrary [ George ], Steve Witting [ Ted ]

      The Solomons don't realize how fond they are of their car until Dick wrecks it. Meanwhile, Harry finds out about insurance.

      b: 2 Nov 99 pc: 505 w: Gregg Mettler d: Terry Hughes
    101. "Dial M for Dick"
      gs: Billy Connolly [ Inspector Macaffery ], Janet Carroll [ Mrs. Runquist ], Dennis Cockrum [ Colonel Pinkham ], Madison Mason [ Mr. Jack Wallencott ], Andrea C. Robinson [ Mrs. Milly Wallencott ], John Balma [ Eames ], David Chisum [ Chip Caswell ], Melissa Greenspan [ The Maid ]

      The Solomons attend an interactive murder mystery at a mansion, but they don't have a clue that other guests are actors and that the action is scripted.

      b: 9 Nov 99 pc: 504 w: Christine Zander d: Terry Hughes
    102. "Dick and Tuck"
      gs: David Hasselhoff [ Dr. Lasker ]

      rc: Bug, Leon, Pitman, Alissa, Caryn

      After seeing Mary and Tina drooling over a photo of Harrison Ford,Dick looks into the possibility of undergoing plastic surgery. Meanwhile, Harry has his outlook changed after the surgeon assesses his features and pronounces them perfect.

      b: 16 Nov 99 pc: 503 w: Bob Kushell d: Terry Hughes
    103. "Dick, Who's Coming to Dinner"
      gs: Jane Morris [ Mrs. Goltra ], Larry Dorf [ Waiter ], Emily Osment [ Dahlia ], The Brookinaires [ Church Choir ]

      rc: Alissa, Bug, Caryn, Leon, Pitman

      The Solomons learn about racism when they mistakenly attend a white power rally, then enter a poetry contest for elementary school students.

      b: 23 Nov 99 pc: 507 w: Dave Goetsch & Jason Venokur d: Terry Hughes
    104. "Sex and the Sally"
      gs: Aaron Lustig [ Dr. Severson ], Victoria L. Kelleher [ Waitress ], Phil Reeves [ Mr. Mora ], Brian Dunkleman [ Pizza Guy ]

      rc: Rico

      While Sally finds out about birth control and Dick learns about tipping, Tommy and Harry discover the rewards of panhandling.

      b: 30 Nov 99 pc: 509 w: Julie E. Sherman d: Terry Hughes
    105. "Charitable Dick"
      gs: Bob Bancroft [ Father Matthew ], Ron Fassler [ Auctioneer ], Philip Bolden [ Ben ], Lori Hall [ Assistant ], Mendi Segal [ Man's Voice ]

      rc: Dr. Strudwick, Judith

      Dick finds out what it means to be charitable when he attends a charity auction and gets into a bidding war with Strudwick over a worthless painting. Meanwhile, Sally tries to stop snoring, and Harry and Tommy attempt to write a new statement for the Solomons' mission.

      b: 14 Dec 99 pc: 508 w: David Sacks d: Terry Hughes
    106. "The Loud Solomon Family: A Dickumentary"
      gs: Bob Morrisey [ Mr. Malone ], Lisa K. Wyatt [ Hannah ], Theresa Mulligan [ Triple A Lady ]

      rc: Rico

      Albright gets a grant to make a documentary about the Solomons, whom she admits she has been studying for the past four years and has concluded are "the typical American family." Taking this as the ultimate tribute to the success of their secret mission, Dick orders everyone to cooperate, but when the action begins, all sorts of dramatic revelations occur. To cover up their true secret, the aliens find themselves inventing escalating cover stories: Sally is really a lesbian, Tommy wets his bed (but only because Dick beats him), Harry is an alcoholic, and Dick -- well, Dick is a posturing, authoritarian fool. Who'd have thought it?

      b: 11 Jan 00 pc: 506 w: Valerie Watson d: Terry Hughes
    107. "Gwen, Larry, Dick and Mary"
      gs: Genie Francis [ Gwen ], Jonathan Frakes [ Larry ], Heidi Mark [ Miranda ], Jeanette O'Connor [ Housewife ], Jeff Lewis [ Young Man ], Tom Kiesche [ Large Man ], Steve Bean [ Man ]

      When the aliens' washer and dryer break down, Harry, Tommy and Sally discover a whole new world at the laundromat: the men flirt outrageously, while Sally becomes the Judge Judy of laundry offences. Meanwhile, Mary suggests that she and Dick expand their social lives by finding another couple to spend time with, and when the other couple starts to avoid them, they assume it is because of Dick's bizarre behavior -- only to discover it's she they don't like.

      b: 25 Jan 00 pc: _________ w: Christine Zander d: Terry Hughes
    108. "Dick Puts the Id in Cupid"
      gs: Ana Gasteyer [ Dr. Brand ], Lindsay J. McKeon [ Tiffany ]

      rc: Rico, Alissa

      When he learns that Mary is seeing a therapist, Dick's paranoid about what she might be saying about him. Meanwhile, Tommy's intimidated about having sex with Alissa when he finds that it won't be her first experience. When Mary's rebellious niece Tiffany comes on to him, he is only to happy to dispose of his virginity -- and to inform Alissa he has solved "their" problem. (Can this be the end of Alissa?)

      b: 8 Feb 00 pc: _________ w: Dave Goetsch & Jason Venokur d: Terry Hughes
    109. "The Big Giant Head Returns"
      gs: William Shatner [ Big Giant Head ], Doug Maida [ Waiter ]

      rc: Vicki

      The Big Giant Head returns to claim his son, and discovers that he is in love with Vicki. When Dick protests that Harry loves Vicki more, he is ordered to shut up or accept reassignment to another planet. (Can this be the end of Vicki?)

      b: 22 Feb 00 pc: 517 w: David Sacks d: Terry Hughes
    110. "Rutherford Beauty"
      gs: Richard Livingston [ Dr. Hallstrom ], Louan Gideon [ Saleswoman ], Christine Zander [ Margaret Williams ]

      rc: Leon, Caryn

      Dick gets in trouble with Mary when he shares with her his compulsive erotic fantasies about Nina. Sally tries everyone's patience when she becomes a fanatical follower of a lifestyle guru a la Marta Stewart, and Mary asks her to cater her dinner party.

      b: 22 Feb 00 pc: 511 w: Bob Kushell & Gregg Mettler d: Terry Hughes
    111. "This Little Dick Goes to Market"
      gs: Chyna [ Janice ], Francis X. McCarthy [ President ], David A. Kimball [ Vice President ], Steven Pierce [ Executive ], Michelle N. Johnson [ Receptionist ]

      rc: Dr. Strudwick, Judith

      Dick decides that since the Solomons have come to Earth during the greatest bull market in history, he should get in on the action. But when Dick and Tommy realize they've only made a measly 35 percent on their investments, greed takes over and they take matters into their own hands. Meanwhile, Sally feels "emasculated" by (and Harry falls in lust with) Rutherford's newest rookie cop Janice -- the largest, strongest, toughest woman they've ever seen.

      b: 14 Mar 00 pc: 518 w: Dave Boerger d: Terry Hughes
    112. "Youth is Wasted on the Dick"
      gs: Miguel Ferrer [ Cop ], Pat Crawford Brown [ Mrs. Larson ], Shane Powers [ Video Pirate ]

      rc: Leon, Pitman, Bug, Caryn, Mrs. Dubcek

      Dick tries to experience youth for the first time by partying with his students during spring break, but his drunken antics are wasted on Mary, who is trying to relive a favorite, and more relaxing, family outing instead. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry, and Tommy become enthralled with a no-nonsense state criminal investigator, who takes over Officer Don's command post when the police set up a stake-out in the Solomon's attic to spy on a suspected video pirate in the neighborhood.

      b: 21 Mar 00 pc: 515 w: Nastaran Dibai & Jeffrey B. Hodes d: Terry Hughes
    113. "Dick Strikes Out"
      gs: Lane Davies [ Chancellor Duncan ], Regan Burns [ Security Guard ], Lee Shackleford [ Customer #1 ], Virginia McMath [ Customer #2 ]

      rc: Alissa, Dr. Strudwick, Judith, Leon, Caryn, Bug, Pitman

      When a new chancellor shakes things up at Pendleton, Dick gets a striking idea and convinces his fellow faculty members to resign en masse. Meanwhile, Tommy takes a job at a pretzel stand at the mall, but finds that working for girlfriend Alissa isn't as much fun as he expected.

      b: 28 Mar 00 pc: 510 w: Aron Abrams & Gregory Thompson d: Terry Hughes
    114. "Shall We Dick?"
      rc: Alissa, Dr. Strudwick, Judith, Pitman

      Over Mary's objections that she can't dance, Dick insists that together they can win the school Badger Day dance contest. Meanwhile, Sally and Alissa become pals -- and when they go clothes shopping together, Tommy's frustrated because Sally has a chance to see Alissa naked in the dressing room. Meanwhile, when Harry and Nina join the contest, it soon becomes clear to Dick that if he wants to win, he'll have to change partners to dance. A competitive Dick enters the Badger Day dance contest but when his tangle footed partner Mary quits in disgust, he commandeers Harry's date, the more nimble Nina, out from under his nose. Elsewhere, just when it appears that Sally will finally become friends with Alissa, she turns vindictive when Alissa accidentally walks in on Officer Don and sees him "au natural."

      b: 18 Apr 00 pc: 513 w: Bill Martin & Mike Schiff d: Terry Hughes
    115. "Dick and Harry Fall Down a Hole"
      gs: Alan Cumming [ Angus "The Hole" McDuff ], Trisha Simmons [ TV Reporter #1 ], Kevin Ruf [ TV Reporter #2 ], Jim Hanna [ Tourist #1 ], Bonita Friedericy [ Tourist #2 ], Irene White [ Tourist #3 ]

      rc: Alyssa

      Dick and Harry tumble down an abandoned airshaft, prompting a televised search-and-rescue headed by an eccentric Scottish expert known as "the Hole," who promptly clashes with an agitated Sally over his unorthodox rescue method. Meanwhile, down in their dark prison, an excitable Dick finally loses control while Zen-like Harry remains cool and calm. Above ground, Tommy tries to make a fast buck by hawking souvenirs of his trapped friends.

      b: 2 May 00 pc: 519 w: Aron Abrams & Gregory Thompson d: Terry Hughes
    116. "Frankie Goes to Rutherford"
      gs: Enrico Colantoni [ Frank ], Michael Dempsey [ Security Guard ], Larry Cox [ Taylor ]

      Frank, a former student of Mary's, returns for a lecture series and makes Dick (unaware Frank is gay) jealous. When Frank confesses he has a secret, Dick jumps to the conclusion that Frank is also an alien, "comes out" to Frank, and is soon cavorting in Rutherford's finest gay bar while thinking it is a hangout for other covert aliens. Meanwhile, the other Solomons plan a bank robbery, but fall prey to mutual suspicion.

      b: 9 May 00 pc: 520 w: Gregg Mettler & Will Forte d: Terry Hughes
    117. "Dick Solomon's Day Off"
      gs: Lane Davies [ Chancellor ], Olivia D'Abo [ Andrea ], Jerry Hauck [ Frankie ], Brian Palermo [ Voice of Steve ]

      rc: Dr. Strudwick

      While Dick discovers the pleasures of faking "a sick day," the other Solomons find new kicks listening to cell-phone calls on Officer Don's misplaced scanner.

      b: 16 May 00 pc: 516 w: ______________ d: ______________
    118. "The Big Giant Head Returns Again (1)"
      gs: William Shatner [ Stone Phillips ], Chyna [ Janice ], Scott Torrence [ Student #1 ], Shiloh Strong [ Student #2 ], Paul Connor [ Student #3 ]

      rc: Vicki, Bug, Pitman, Caryn

      It's troubled relationship time in the season closer. The Solomons' supreme commander arrives with a troubled marriage to Vicki and a surprise for one of the gang: he's in love. Meanwhile, Harry summons up the courage to ask new police recruit Janice out on a real date; and Sally becomes convinced that Alissa is preparing to dump Tommy.

      b: 23 May 00 pc: 521 w: ______________ d: ______________
    119. "The Big Giant Head Returns Again (2)"
      gs: William Shatner [ Stone Phillips ], Chyna [ Janice ], Scott Torrence [ Student #1 ], Shiloh Strong [ Student #2 ], Paul Connor [ Student #3 ]

      rc: Vicki, Bug, Pitman, Caryn

      It's troubled relationship time in the season closer. The Solomons' supreme commander arrives with a troubled marriage to Vicki and a surprise for one of the gang: he's in love. Meanwhile, Harry summons up the courage to ask new police recruit Janice out on a real date; and Sally becomes convinced that Alissa is preparing to dump Tommy.

      b: 23 May 00 pc: 522 w: ______________ d: ______________

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      6th Season 2000

    120. "Les Liaisons Dickgereuses"
      gs: Megan Mullally [ Renata ], Brandon Johnson [ L.J. ], Paul Hansen Kim [ Kwan ]

      b: 24 Oct 00 pc: 609 w: ______________ d: ______________
    121. "Fear and Loathing in Rutherford"
      gs: Tammy Dahlstrom [ Waitress ]

      rc: Strudwick

      b: 31 Oct 00 pc: 603 w: ______________ d: ______________
    122. "Indickscretion"
      gs: Michael McShane [ Phil ], Renee Raudman [ Amber ], Brent Sexton [ Duke ], Shanee Edwards [ Waitress ]

      rc:

      b: 14 Nov 00 pc: 605 w: ______________ d: ______________
    123. "Dick'll Take Manhattan (1)"
      gs: Richard Belzer [ Himself ], Michael McShane [ Phil ], Renee Raudman [ Amber ], Brent Sexton [ Duke ], Shanee Edwards [ Waitress ]

      rc:

      b: 21 Nov 00 pc: 612 w: ______________ d: ______________
    124. "Dick'll Take Manhattan (2)"
      gs: Michael McShane [ Phil ], Renee Raudman [ Amber ], Brent Sexton [ Duke ], Shanee Edwards [ Waitress ]

      rc:

      b: 28 Nov 00 pc: 613 w: ______________ d: ______________
    125. "Why Dickie Can't Teach"
      gs:

      rc:

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    126. "B.D.O.C."
      gs:

      rc:

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    127. " "
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    128. " "
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    140. " "
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    141. " "
      gs:

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    NOTES

    Thanks to Lee Mellin for some missing information.


    Disclaimer: We have no connection with the show. We are just providing information, which we hope other fans will find useful. Any corrections, updates or other comments about this guide may be sent to: Russell Wodell rustle49@hotmail.com.
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