rc: Russell
The police bring a shivering Overton to the apartment. The horse subdued the mugger, but bucked Overton into the bushes. He still does not tell Synclaire about the ring. Overton later picks the mugger out of the lineup. Synclaire breaks down the door and tries to attack the man. Overton's belongings are returned to him and (after an interruption from Khadijah) he proposes to Synclaire at the police station. She immediately accepts. As she has no chance of winning in court, Khadijah agrees to a settlement with the band, which will force Flavor to go bankrupt. Russell saves the day when he bursts in and announces that he has deconstructed the song in question. He gradually strips away parts of the song, and reveals that it actually was a rip-off of "Mandy." Max's campaign appears to be back on track when Kyle uncovers evidence that proves the incumbent is corrupt, but the documents are shredded. Max instead admits the allegations against her are true, but claims that they prove she has the passion to fulfill her duties.
Tag: Synclaire has another run-in with the mugger.
Music: "Mandy" by Barry Manilow
Quotes:
Max: "Thank you, Kyle. You know, I guess it's true. Politics do make strange bedfellows."
Kyle: "Maxine Shaw, you were a strange bedfellow long before politics."
Max: "The fact is that every word Paul Malaba has said about me is true. But what does that really say about me?"
Regine: "That you're a freak?"
Max: "That I'm a woman with a passion for life? Guilty. That I'm a woman who's willing to go all the way to get what she wants, over and over again, even when those around her are exhausted and spent? I'm guilty. My record proves I have nothing to hide. I say to the people of Brooklyn, a vote for Maxine Shaw is a vote for openness, passion and endurance. When I say `Ride the Maverick,' I mean it!"
Overton: "Now Synclaire, ever since I could remember, I had a vision of the perfect woman. The way she looked; the way she talked; the way she walked; and even her favorite kind of hot cereal. Then I met you, and you were nothing like the vision. But fate just proved how wrong a man could be. It brought me the perfect woman, and I wanna spend the rest of my life saying, `Thanks, fate.' Synclaire, will you, uh, will you marry me?"
b: 29 Aug 96 pc: 466001 w: Roger S.H. Schulman d: Ellen Gittelsohn NOTE: The series moves back to Thursdays at 8:30.Khadijah re-considers Flavor's endorsement of Max when she insists on spouting clichés, rather than discussing the issues. She instead backs a little-known high school teacher named William Perez. Max claims that Khadijah is jealous and does not want her friends to outshine her. Max runs into Perez at a public park (where he is cleaning up graffiti with his civics class), and realizes that her reasons for seeking office are entirely selfish. She withdraws from the election, and tells everyone to vote for Perez. The voters are so moved by her honesty that she receives enough write-in votes to win. Max apologizes to Khadijah, who is impressed by her integrity. Their parents disown Overton and Synclaire when Kyle and Regine accidentally share news of the engagement before the couple had gotten around to it. (They had been trying to follow a James family tradition, in which no one can get married until Synclaire's great aunt Ada gives her "okel doke.") They patch things up, but their parents begin bickering about churches over the phone. Kyle suffers through a series of terrible driver's license photos. He discovers that the clerk has a crush on him and intentionally took bad photos so that she could see him again.
Tag: A disastrous conference call.
Quotes:
Max: "Hey people! What are we celebrating? Kyle get a vasectomy?"
Khadijah: "You couldn't keep your mouth shut for two days?"
Regine: "Hello, have we met?"
Max: "I suppose you think I supported Perez because you did."
Khadijah: "Mother hasn't thought about you all day."
rc: Russell, Keith
Regine is outraged when Keith ignores her at his opening (aside from asking her to change a light bulb in the bathroom). He refuses to defend her when an art critic comes on to her. Russell tells the man to take a hike. After her friends point out that Keith has always seemed aloof, Regine goes to his loft to confront him. She threatens to break up with him unless he begins to take their relationship seriously, but Keith says that he cannot change. Regine comes by the Flavor offices to meet Khadijah for lunch, but she has to cancel. Russell agrees to give Regine a ride into town, then forces her to stop at his aunt's house for lunch. She cheers up after eating a delicious meal and dancing to lively reggae music. Regine begins consulting self-help books for tips on how to land the right man, but finds herself thinking about Russell more than she would like to admit. Kyle and Max go to war over the right to park in a spot in front of the building. When they get into a collision, they both decide to sleep in the parking spot while their cars are repaired. Overton tells them they have a "sickness."
Tag: Kyle and Max prepare to sleep in the street.
Quotes:
Russell: "Yaka-mouths like him make gentlemen like myself look bad. Might I say you're looking wonderful tonight--piqued, pouty and protruding."
Regine: "This isn't the first time I felt like me and Keith just weren't on the same page. I mean, have any of you noticed that he can be…"
Khadijah: "Aloof."
Overton: "Distant."
Kyle: "Blase."
Synclaire: "Zombie-like."
Max: "Dull as a box of rocks!"
Russell: "As they say on my island, `Sometimes the queen bee has to fly past the manicured gardens and into the deep, wild woods to get the sweetest nectar.'"
Regine: "That's beautiful. They must very wise in Jamaica."
Russell: "Yes. And they also have a lot of bees."
rc: Russell, Ivan
Khadijah is approached by Jeremy Mills, a corporate liaison whose employer, Majestic Publishing, would like to purchase a share of Flavor. Khadijah turns him down, noting that they are only interested because their copycat magazine failed. After the employees express the need for a medical plan and an issue is scuttled by a flood at the print shop, Khadijah finally decides to "sell her soul" by allowing Majestic to buy a 25 percent share. Khadijah does not take kindly to Jeremy's efforts to make himself the hero of the employees. When he fails to come through with the promised health plan, he tries to make Khadijah break the news to the staff. She goes to the head of the corporation and threatens to quit if the health plan is not granted. Jeremy lashes out at her for usurping his authority, so she challenges him to stay for the duration of one of the staff's all-night work sessions. He grows to realize how much work is put into the magazine. Regine falls into a deep funk as the result of her break-up with Keith and the news that Palo Alto is on the verge of cancellation. Synclaire tries her best to cheer her up, but Regine just wants to be left alone.
Quotes:
Synclaire: "Maybe you do have good reason to feel low. But whenever I feel that way, I reach into my bag for two little round pick-me-ups."
Regine: "Synclaire, since when do we do drugs?"
Synclaire: "No, windchime earrings. Try them on. What do you think?"
Regine: "I feel dizzy."
Synclaire: "Now you know just one of my secrets to staying happy."
Khadijah: "Do you understand what happens when a big company buys part of a little one?"
Ivan: "You get a health plan."
Russell: "And raises."
Synclaire: "And giant pecan sandies with your names written on them!"
Kyle: "Regine will persevere if she follows the advice of Voltaire: `All is for the best in this best of all possible worlds.' You know, that simple philosphy got me through a period so bleak I actually wondered if life was worth living."
Max: "When in the hell were you so low?"
Kyle: "You recall we did go out."
Regine is the only juror holding up the potential acquittal of Sara McQueen, a beloved elderly movie star accused of arson. When her friends talk about the case and joke about the juror being an idiot, Regine cannot help but defend herself. Max (as an officer of the court) forces her to tell the judge that she discussed the case, and he throws Regine off the jury and finds her in contempt of court. She is sentenced to 50 hours of community service at a monastery, but gets booted for hitting on one of the monks. Regine begins to wonder if she has some deep insecurity that causes her to chatter constantly. Just then, Max arrives at the apartment and announces that Sara McQueen was caught torching a 7-11. The vindicated Regine decides that her big mouth is a gift. Synclaire worries when Harold, one of her regular callers to a hotline for unemployed actors, stops calling. After she tracks him down to see if he is all right, he is so touched by her concern that it lifts his spirits. One of his co-workers on a window-washing job comes by a few days later and tells Synclaire that Harold fell to his death, but had finally been at peace. Meanwhile, Max and Kyle play a game of strip poker.
Quotes:
Regine: "Sara McQueen is the woman accused of the crime. Mrs. Benchley is just a character she plays. Don't confuse the actor with the role."
Kyle: "Yeah, tell that to Tootie."
Regine: "You guys don't think I have a problem, do you?"
Khadijah: "Regine, you fam. So it's not fair for you to ask a question like that, point blank, and expect an answer."
Max: "Regine, you're a gossipy, dirt-dealing human bullhorn. We're not that close."
Regine: "Some people were just meant to blab. I am a purveyor of information. A diva of dish. A Gabriel of gossip for all who hear my trumpet!"
b: 19 Sep 96 pc: 466006 w: Kriss Turner d: Ellen Gittelsohn NOTE: While trying to convince her friends to not to confuse Sara McQueen with the kindly characters she portrays in films, Regine exclaims, "Don't confuse the actor with the role." "Yeah, tell that to Tootie," Kyle retorts. Kim Fields became famous through her portrayal of Dorothy "Tootie" Ramsey on The Facts of Life. During a talk show interview, Kim Coles once stated that Fields hates to be referred to as Tootie.Sara McQueen's fictional films include "My Mother the Boat" and "Whoops, I'm the President!"
rc: Rev. Taylor
Overton and Synclaire must take a compatibility test before they can be married at their church. Synclaire constantly nags Overton about studying, while he feels they have nothing to worry about. They get into an argument just before taking the test, and purposely fail by writing the most inflammatory responses possible. Rev. Taylor finally agrees to let them re-take the test, but only after his wife threatens to make him sleep in the bathtub. Max tries to prove that she can have any man she wants by throwing herself at a young waiter. He continually turns her down, but relents after she takes the stage and gives an embarrassing rendition of "All by Myself." When he asks her out, Max says, "I don't date desperate men."
Music: "All by Myself" (Eric Carmen), performed by Erika Alexander
Quotes:
Max: "Can you believe that? A married gay guy with no phone."
Synclaire: "Question number one: we're embroiled in a heated debate about a deep philosophical issue. What do we do? Go!"
Kyle: "Agree that the first Lionel Jefferson was the best and press on."
Kyle: "The first question was, `If you found out your spouse was having an affair, what would you do?' Synclaire answered, `Hope he doesn't rush home so as not to interrupt my time with the gardener.'"
b: 26 Sep 96 pc: 466004 w: Chris Sheridan d: Rae Krausrc: Ivan, Charles
On her way out of the hospital following hemorrhoid surgery, Khadijah makes a date with a doctor named Charles. When she learns that he was her anesthesiologist, she becomes embarrassed and is unable to show any physical affection toward him. After he makes a fool of himself in the batting cage at the hospital's charity carnival, Khadijah's mind is eased and she kisses him. Regine begins moonlighting as a wedding coordinator. Her first clients are a spooky couple with bizarre supernatural powers, such as the ability to call Regine over a disconnected telephone. They wish to hold their ceremony in a cemetery, and are thrilled by Regine's suggestion of throwing the bouquet into an open grave.
Tag: Regine receives unwanted "gift" from Edwin and Damiana.
Quotes:
Regine: "At the tender age of ten, I was coordinating the wedding of my Christy doll to black G.I. Joe. And they are still together, despite that sordid incident with white Ken."
Max: "Overton, what the hell's wrong with that doorbell?"
Overton: "Well, maybe that's how it always sounds. Of course, you never use it."
Overton: "There's definitely something sinister going on with the bride and groom of doom. First of all, the doorbell's warped. Then the phone goes out. And all day long, I've had a hankering for deviled ham."
b: 31 Oct 96 pc: 466008 w: Clayvon C. Harris d: Rae Kraus NOTE: After learning that Charles was her anesthesiologist, Khadijah complains that he saw her rear end before she even learned his zodiac sign. He responds by smirking, "Cancer. And my name is Charles." This is a reference to the spoken interludes throughout the Floaters 1977 #2 hit "Float On," in which each group member revealed his sign before stating his name. Charles is quoting singer Charles Clarke's section.Kyle and Overton return to Cleveland for a reunion at their high school, which is about to be demolished due to asbestos. Kyle has a run-in with Lester Tate, the bully who tormented him throughout his youth, and finally stands up to the man. He points out that many of Lester's victims are successful, while he is a loser. When Lester reveals that he is homeless, everyone turns against Kyle. Kyle tries to apologize to Lester, but catches him stealing shoes from kids' lockers. Lester taunts and threatens Kyle, who tells him his attitude is the cause of his problems. Kyle locks Lester in a janitor's closet and calls the police. After Synclaire is mistaken for class cut-up Helen Robinson, she impersonates the woman and keeps her admirers entertained. The real Helen finally approaches and thanks Synclaire for letting her have a night of peace and quiet. Max publicly insults the garbage workers' union. The men begin dumping trash outside her apartment until Khadijah and Regine force her to apologize.
Music: Cover versions of "Crocodile Rock" (Elton John), "Tears of a Clown" (Smokey Robinson and the Miracles), "Midnight Train to Georgia" (Gladys Knight and the Pips) and "ABC" (Jackson 5).
Quotes:
Max: "I'll do all the talking. Khadijah, you sit there and look really tough. Regine, you stuff your wig in your mouth."
Helen: "It's just good to see somebody else making an ass of herself for a change."
Synclaire: "It is a gift."
Kyle: "How did someone who comes from the same place as me, who had the same opportunities as me, end up as self-loathing and pathetic as you?"
Lester: "Could you keep your insults just a teeny-weeny bit shorter?"
rc: Darryl
After learning that Palo Alto has been cancelled, Regine is cheered by a visit from a now-wealthy Darryl, who asks her to coordinate his wedding. Although his fiancée, Tina, all but admits that she is only after Darryl's money, Regine doesn't take any action. However, she realizes she must tell Darryl the truth after Synclaire catches Tina making out with the best man. Darryl believes that Regine is jealous, but soon re-considers and calls off the wedding. Tina blames Regine, and the two nearly come to blows in the church. Overton and his friend Ray decide to invent a wallet alarm system, which Kyle feels could be a big money-maker.
Music: "Shout" (Isley Brothers), sung by Queen Latifah and Erika Alexander
Quotes:
Synclaire: "Obie and I have a great theme for our wedding, the theme from `Shaft.' `Shut your mouth!'"
Regine: "That's Freddie, the best man."
Synclaire: "Apparently!"
Regine: "Synclaire, I told him. What else do you want me to do, hang a banner behind the altar that says, `The bride's a tramp'?"
Synclaire: "This is the house of the Lord; the proper word would be jezebel!"
NOTE: Vivica A. Fox co-starred with Queen Latifah in the 1996 movie "Set It Off."
rc: Charles
Max is stunned to learn that her boyfriend, Gary, is a virgin. She has serious doubts as to whether she should deflower him, but eventually goes through with it. She is saddened when Gary heeds her advice and decides not to crowd her, but maintains her bravado in front of her friends. Kyle sees through her act and realizes that she is hurt, and she confesses that she can no longer simply chew men up and spit them out. Kyle takes her to dinner to talk things over. Khadijah, following Regine's suggestion, "borrows" some ski clothing for a weekend with Charles. Her plan goes awry when the store burns down before she can get a refund.
Music: "Teach Me Tonight" by Al Jarreau
Quotes:
Max: "For some insane reason, I want to be responsible about this."
Synclaire: "Of course you do. Because you want to make Gary's first time sweet and romantic."
Max: "Well, if that's what he wants, let him knock on Dr. Quinn's covered wagon."
Max: "I am as sensitive as they come. Now I don't need some man clinging to me like a tattoo on a biker's ass."
Kyle: "Tell me, Miss Shaw. How does the virgin compare to moi?"
Max: "Well, he isn't a pompous, egotistical blowhard."
Kyle: "Not your type, huh?"
Synclaire lucks into a starring role in a play when the star drops out a day before the opening. (Synclaire had memorized all the lines while serving as an usher as a teenager.) However, the director offers the opinion that Synclaire stinks, and is certain that the play will end both of their careers. A jittery Synclaire flubs her lines and strikes one of the other actors in the face with a door. When the audience responds favorably, Synclaire begins ad-libbing and turns the play into a comedy. It proves to be a huge hit and is held over. Thanks to a camera in a hat invented by Overton, the play had been recorded and Synclaire's lines can be written down. An IRS agent who is auditing Kyle agrees to go easy on him if he can teach him how to pick up women. However, the man ends up getting more than he bargained for…namely Max.
Tag: Kyle guesses the identity of Albert's unwanted blind date.
Quotes:
Regine: "I saw The Calling Hours in high school. Man, that play changed my life."
Mary Marie: "Really?"
Regine: "Mmm-hmm! I mean, for hours those actresses wept, without one case of raccoon eyes? Honey, on that day, I discovered waterproof mascara."
Mary Marie: "I have worked with video dancers who have sat in vats of green jello saying, `Oh, the green. It chills me.' They were Olivier compared to her."
Synclaire: "She was thrilled with me yesterday. She was jumping up and down saying, `My God, how could this be?' Oh, oh. Wait. I guess, uh, there's another way you could take that."
b: 5 Dec 96 pc: 466010 w: Warren Hutcherson d: Gil Jungerrc: Russell, Charles
Charles is the recipient of an award, but is reluctant to attend the ceremony, as he considers everyone in that social circle to be snobs. After the guests treat Khadijah rudely, Charles tells them what they can do with their award. Khadijah fears for Charles's career and asks his kindly boss to smooth things over. Charles is angry with Khadijah for speaking for him, and they realize that they are both incredibly stubborn. Regine goes to the party as Russell's date and uses his connections to make friends with some of the guests. When the women stick Regine with a huge bill at the Russian Tea Room, Russell has to save her. Max spends all her Christmas money on a massage chair for herself, which she has delivered to the girls' apartment, but won't let anyone else use. Kyle, Overton and Synclaire plot revenge, but are hopelessly overmatched.
Tag: Max regains control of the chair.
Music: Variation of "Deck the Halls," sung by Erika Alexander
Quotes:
Regine: "Even in a tux, you're still a pervert."
Russell: "Oh, I've graduated from sicko to pervert. Next stop, groom."
Russell: "Regine, those women are sharks. They'll eat you alive and spit out your wig."
Khadijah: "Who was attacking Charles? And who the hell was attacking me?"
Russell: "Regine's lunch buddies. Tell her, Lady Marmalade."
rc: Laverne
When her friends will not include her in their Saturday night plans, Regine takes her mother out to dinner. Laverne hits it off with the handsome man who picks up her napkin, who turns out to be millionaire Harrison Cushmore. Regine grows tired of seeing her mother in the society pages, and predicts that she will quickly be dumped. She turns out to be right, and is reluctant to console her mother until Khadijah points out how selfish her behavior is. As it turns out, Laverne is fine; she tells Regine that losing a man is no reason to get upset! After his van breaks down, Overton buys a Lincoln town car at a police auction; but Synclaire orders him to get rid of it when Max tells them that the car killed a mobster. The dead man's nephew agrees to take the Lincoln off Overton's hands--if he and Kyle will help him bury his uncle in the car.
Tag: Kyle, Overton and Crazy Joey get an unwelcome surprise at the burial.
Quotes:
Regine: "I'm putting all the guys I dated last year into two piles."
Max: "'Guys who killed themselves' and `guys who ran screaming into the night'?"
Max: "Extra! Extra! Look whose mama made the society pages wearing plaid gauchos!"
Kyle: "Must I again step into the fray and douse the fires of antipathy?"
Overton: "Huh?"
Kyle: "Oh, woo-woo-woo."
Synclaire lands a job as a clown sidekick on a popular television show, thanks to Kyle's business ties to the producer. She is appalled to discover that her new boss is a 12-year-old tyrant, and tries to teach him some respect. This leads to an embarrassing on-air tirade against the boy. In the meantime, Overton continues to battle his clown phobia, with limited success. Khadijah accuses Regine of stealing her grandma's recipe for raisin cookies to win a baking contest, and each shares her slightly biased version of the events with Overton. They later discover that Max's sloppiness is to blame for the misunderstanding, but refuse to apologize to each other.
Quotes:
Overton: "Khadijah, it pains me to say this, but girl, you know you're lying. You know very well Max ain't never rolled up in this house with her own food."
Regine: "I would never steal from your Mom-Mom. Why, that's as foreign to me as demon gossip!"
Max: "Regine, your feelings are hurt because Khadijah accused you of lying. Khadijah, you accused Regine of lying because she lies. Easy solution: Regine, don't lie; Khadijah, don't care. Now that I've solved the mystery of the pruny smooches, can I please get some Chinese mustard?"
b: 23 Jan 97 pc: 466014 w: Chris Sheridan d: Rae KrausAs Khadijah prepares to accept an award for her work at Flavor, the group recalls a time when Flavor was just a dream; Max lived with Khadijah and Regine (until she and Regine tried to kill each other); and Regine dated Kyle and his Afro. They later reminisce about Synclaire's arrival from Minnesota (along with Crispus Attucks, her seven-foot high troll doll); and her first meeting with Overton, who immediately told Kyle that he had just met the mother of his children. Synclaire is shocked to learn that she was on the verge of being thrown out--until she hit Kareem Abdul-Jabbar with the car and landed Flavor's first cover story. Despite mishaps with the cheap limo service hired by Synclaire and a broken subway car, they are able to make the ceremony, where Khadijah accepts her award and thanks her friends for their support. Meanwhile, Max admits that she has gone so long without a date that Kyle is starting to seem desirable. "Maybe you're just starting to see straight," he replies.
Music: "Love Is All Around" by Sonny Curtis; "Tears of a Clown" by the Smokey Robinson and the Miracles; "My Girl" by the Temptations
Quotes:
Khadijah: "I hope this truce lasts longer than the last one. You two shook hands and ended up arm wrestling."
Regine: "A battle, I recall, that I won."
Max: "Only because you put your boobs into it."
Kyle: "Regine darling, crushed as I am, I am sure that I will get over you long before you get over yourself."
Regine: "Mr. Holyfield, I understand that you have recently built a 55,000 square-foot mansion. So tell me…how's the marriage?"
b: 30 Jan 97 pc: 466019 w: Jacque Edmonds s: Yvette Lee Bowser d: Ellen Gittelsohn NOTE: This was the 100th episode to be filmed. It ends the same way as the pilot, with the girls singing along to "My Girl" in the bathroom (albeit in much nicer attire).Susan L. Taylor is the editor of Essence Magazine. Danny Mora previously appeared in 4.2 as William Perez, Max's good-hearted opponent in the alderman race.
In her first appearance in the flashback scenes, Khadijah wears a crown. This was Queen Latifah's trademark early in her rap career, but she abandoned the look upon the release of her third album, 1993's Black Reign. Regine wears an outfit that copies the uniform worn by Janet Jackson in her 1989 video for "Rhythm Nation."
rc: Rev. Taylor
Kyle is appointed the church's new choir director. He gives in to Regine's pleading and awards her the solo in the performance honoring the church's 50th anniversary. When he discovers that she can't sing a note, Kyle decides to save Regine from public humiliation and give the solo to the talented Latrice. After a distraught Regine throws a fit and continually disrupts rehearsal, Latrice returns the solo. Overton and Synclaire force Regine to face the truth about her singing, and she rehearses all night in the hopes of improving. She comes down with laryngitis, Kyle and Latrice take over her part, and the performance goes off without a hitch. Meanwhile, Khadijah is wary of the reactions of her fellow parishioners when she attends church for the first time in two years.
Music: "There Is No Failure," performed by T.C. Carson and CeCe Winans with choir
Quotes:
Regine: "That sounds almost exactly like me, except off-key."
Synclaire: "Tragically, it's both."
Khadijah: "Oh my God! That voice! My God! My God, why hast thou forsaken me?!"
Overton: "I guess that's what happens when you don't go to church for two years."
Rev. Taylor: "The important thing is that you're here now."
Khadijah: "What, that's it? No fire? No brimstone? No `where the hell you been?' Oops."
Kyle and Max lie about out-of-town trips and sneak off to a hotel for the weekend. They insist, however, that they are not getting back together. Although their claim that there will be no romance involved in the weekend is obviously a crock, Kyle and Max eventually get into one too many arguments and head their separate ways--but not before setting up another rendezvous. After realizing that Max's and Kyle's alibis are shaky, Regine becomes determined to prove that they are together. It is Khadijah who is able to track them down and warn Max. She suggests that Max actually cares about Kyle, but her friend won't admit to this. Meanwhile, Overton and Synclaire take advantage of Kyle's absence to set up housekeeping in the apartment. They worry that their constant fighting might be a sign that they aren't ready to get married, but conclude that disagreements occur in all relationships.
Tag: Detective Regine cannot quite crack the case.
Music: "Reasons" by Earth, Wind & Fire
Quotes:
Regine: "I'm telling you, Maxine is up to something. My mission--and I choose to accept it--is to find out what she's doing. Or who!"
Max: "You haven't changed a bit. You're still the same tortured soul you always were."
Kyle: "You know, it's funny how I only feel tortured in your presence."
Max: "That's it. I don't need this. I'm outta here!"
Kyle: "Press."
Max: "Are you as hot as I am?"
Kyle: "Hotter, baby. Hotter."
Khadijah: "So why did you and Kyle hook up again?"
Max: "I don't know. I mean, I think it's a reincarnation thing. I think maybe I killed him in another life."
Khadijah: "Or maybe he really means something to you."
Max: "Please! Get off it. That man is like an angry rash that keeps coming back no matter how hard you try to get rid of it."
Khadijah: "But damn if it don't feel good to scratch it sometimes."
NOTE: This episode was broadcast out of order. It was scheduled to air 6 Feb 97, but was pre-empted for "Star Wars: The Magic and Mystery."
rc: Russell, Jeffrey
After realizing that their busy schedules have caused them to miss out on important events in each other's lives, the girls decide to go out together on Saturday night. They are immediately hit on at the cafe, and the owner ejects Max for heckling a stand-up act. Regine leads them to a gay bar, where they are surprised to find Russell tending bar (he loves the tips). Khadijah beats a fierce drag queen named Hank at arcade basketball (by cheating); Max is mistaken for a man; Synclaire helps a man get over the handyman who dumped him; and Regine dances with Russell and almost admits to enjoying herself. Meanwhile, Kyle and Overton nearly get into a fistfight when Overton learns that Kyle's boss and his nephews didn't pay the cover charge for their pay-per-view boxing party. After getting sick from the pork rinds, hitting his head on the toilet, and being trampled by partygoers, Jeffrey declares that he had a great time and gives Kyle a big account.
Music: "Opportunity (Let's Make Lots of Money)" by the Pet Shop Boys; cover version of "Super Freak, Pt. 1" (Rick James)
Quotes:
Russell: "Let's dance. And Lord help you if you're not wearing a sports bra."
Max: "Hey fellas. We girls were just having a heated debate. The topic: does size matter?"
Khadijah: "Yeah, you know, we'd love for you to join in."
Kyle: "I got a big day tomorrow."
Overton: "Yeah. And mine's bigger. Good night."
Regine: "If anybody knows how to get rid of men…"
Max: "It's me. Beat you to it."
Kyle and Max's attempts to sneak around are complicated when Overton takes a second job as a handyman in her building. She is evicted after he inadvertently exposes her illegal satellite dish to the landlord. She lays the blame on Overton, and storms out. Overton orders Kyle to come out of the bedroom to discuss the situation, but Kyle doesn't feel much like defending Max. Khadijah shows Max the error of her ways and convinces her to apologize. Overton hatches a scheme to trick the landlord into giving Max her apartment back. Regine, Synclaire and Khadijah hire a housekeeper, but he nearly quits when Synclaire's enthusiastic efforts to help out leave him feeling inadequate.
Quotes:
Synclaire: "Oh Overton, you don't have to work two jobs. If we plan ahead for hard times, we'll be just fine."
Overton: "Yeah, and if `if' was a fifth, we'd all be drunk."
Overton: "I'm on it like trouble on a Dallas Cowboy."
Overton: "Oh, Jamaican Number Nine incense. I thought Kyle was the only one into this stuff. Who turned you on to it?"
Max: "Now did I ask any questions when I caught you and Synclaire filling your caulking gun with hot caramel?"
rc: Ivan
Max enlists Khadijah's help in exposing an embezzlement scheme at City Hall. Ty Richardson, Flavor's cocky new reporter, demands the story, but is arrested in a barroom brawl. With the deadline approaching, Khadijah and Max decide to handle things themselves. They break into the office of a woman who had taken a suspicious vacation, and discover that she has created phony computer records. Ty shows up at the office with a completed story, and explains that his arrest was staged so that he could get to the guilty party's jailed partner. Khadijah forces him to agree to a collaborative story. When Overton still cannot accept the Cleveland Browns' move to Baltimore, Synclaire talks with Jim Brown at a sports card show and brings him to the apartment. Jim tells Overton to get over it and move on with his life with Synclaire, and gives him copies of his movies. Meanwhile, Regine insists that her date isn't the loser he appears to be.
Quotes:
Max: "Damn, dingity, dangity, damn it!"
Regine: "I didn't know you could conjugate the word `damn.'"
Max: "Shut up, Shorty by Nature."
Synclaire: "Oh! There's confusion and for once I'm not involved."
Overton: "Oh, I'm whining? Who took three days off when they cancelled Full House?
b: 10 Apr 97 pc: 466021 w: David M. Matthews d: Kim Fields Freeman NOTE: Jim Brown rushed for 12,312 yards in his Hall-of-Fame career. He retired after just nine seasons to embark on an acting career.Overton (but probably not Synclaire) would have been thrilled when Cleveland was awarded an expansion team to begin play in the 1999 season, which maintained the Browns name and the old team history.
Overton and Synclaire's engagement party is marred when her bickering parents announce that they have separated. When Synclaire begins to express doubts about her own union, Overton forces the Jameses to talk things out. Lilah reveals that she has tired of her husband's constant wisecracks. She has not revealed her desire to become a lounge singer because she fears Clinton's ridicule. He agrees to support her dream, and they realize that their problems are manageable. Regine tries to use the party as a trap to prove that Max and Kyle are seeing each other. Max suggests that they bring phony dates to throw off Regine; but is distressed when Kyle flies a model friend in from Los Angeles for the evening, while she is stuck with the perpetually boring Teddy. Max finally takes Kyle to the kitchen and confesses that she is seething with jealousy. Kyle pressures her into admitting that she likes him, and she is on the verge of making a more significant admission when Regine bursts in. Max pretends that she is choking Kyle, and Regine is foiled again.
Music: "That's What Friends Are For" (Dionne Warwick and Friends), sung by Denise Nicolas / Gladys Knight
Quotes:
Kyle: "Maxine, if I bring a date, it is not a question of who; it's a question of which."
Max: "With you, it's a question of what!"
Kyle: "Oh, you make my skin crawl. Now come here. Kiss Papa."
Max: "Just get me somebody decent. He doesn't have to be thank-you-Jesus fine."
Max: "All right. Shut up. All this years…of on-again off-again sneaking around you've grown on me and in some ways--a lot of ways--you're my equal and although I'm not entirely comfortable with that that's just who I am. There! I said it."
Kyle: "And that was quite an admission. I just wish I knew what it meant."
Max: "Aw hell, man. I like you."
rc: Tibby
Kyle learns that his visiting brother Damon is about to undertake a long voyage to Africa. He is incensed when Damon remarks that he also might be interested in becoming a handyman. He simultaneously offends both Damon and Overton, who strips him of best man duties. Damon points out that Kyle spends too much time working to enjoy life. After being teased about Max, Kyle agrees to stay out of Damon's business. He apologizes to Overton, and makes it up to him by flying in both his old shop teacher and Uncle Tibby for the bachelor party. Regine is furious when Max and Khadijah ask her high school rival, Ava Rivera, to help them organize Synclaire's bachelorette party. Ava lands Madonna's penthouse for the party, but Synclaire is upset when everyone pays more attention to the house than to her. Regine shifts the focus of the party back to Synclaire. When Madonna returns, Ava reveals that she doesn't have permission to use the house, and the girls crash Overton's party.
Music: "Don't Waste My Time" by Esaga featuring Pamela Bryant (from the Living Single soundtrack).
Quotes:
Max: "We need to get somebody else to do this grunt work. Some, like, busybody mongrel."
Regine: "Hello."
Max: "Hey Regine! Hey girl!"
Ava: "Oh Maxine, I haven't seen you since you torched my ex's Harley and rolled it off the pier. Girl, you're so sweet."
Ava: "Poor Regicita. Still bitter about me winning homecoming queen."
Regine: "This is so high school. You only won because you stuffed the ballot box, among other things."
Ava: "No, Nay-Nay. This is all me. Just like those hips are all you."
rc: Rita
Khadijah is annoyed when her estranged father comes to town for Synclaire's wedding. She has dinner with her parents for Mother's Day, but is hardly cordial. When she learns that Laverne saw her parents take off in a limo to Atlantic City, Khadijah chases after them. Rita assures her that she and Ed are only attending a Smokey Robinson concert. Ed tracks down Khadijah at the slot machines, and admits that he has made many mistakes in their relationship. However, it is important that Khadijah remain part of his life, as she is the only thing that truly brings him pride. He apologizes for not having a greater role in her development. Khadijah wins the jackpot with Ed's coin. Max threatens to harm Overton if he tells anyone about her affair with Kyle. Synclaire realizes he is keeping a secret. When Regine can't get Overton to crack, Synclaire confronts him. He tells her about Max and Kyle, but she isn't surprised; she has the room below Kyle's!
Music: "You've Really Got a Hold on Me" (Smokey Robinson & the Miracles), performed by band
Quotes:
Synclaire: "I love brunch. It's like breakfast and lunch all rolled into one. Oh, oh! Breakfast and lunch tog…I just got that, girl!"
Overton: "Kyle and Max are doing the wild thing again."
Synclaire: "Wait, wait, wait. That's your secret? Oh, I knew that. I heard them through the vent one night. Guess what? Max coos like a pigeon."
Overton: "Child, that's Kyle."
Max: "I guess I'll go watch Moses free his people from Egypt. They've got a show every fifteen minutes. Who's your messiah now?!"
b: 8 May 97 pc: 466023 w: Warren Hutcherson d: Ellen Gittelsohnrc: Russell, Laverne, Rita, Tibby, Rev. Taylor
As the girls reminisce in Synclaire's room the night before the wedding, a drunken Regine laments the fact that she hasn't been able to find a man. After Regine staggers off to bed, Max announces her intention to go buy some beer; but Khadijah and Synclaire are well aware of what she really wants. A defensive Max refuses to admit that her relationship with Kyle is serious. She meets him on the fire escape, where he shares the news that he has been offered the chance to head up a new office in London. She pretends to be unmoved, and claims that she is considering a partnership in Philadelphia. The next day, Khadijah fears that she and Synclaire will grow apart after she is married, until her cousin reminds her that she will still be in the building. Overton feels the effects of going 24 hours without food and faints. Regine is depressed when Russell shows up with a beautiful woman; and Max makes her feel even worse when she tells her that she was seeing Kyle, and that only Regine didn't know about it. Regine's prayers for a man are later answered when Super Bowl MVP Desmond Howard (Overton's cousin) asks her to dinner. Kyle takes Max aside in the hall to say that he enjoyed knowing her, as he has decided to take the job in London. As he turns away, Max says that she loves him. Regine whisks her away for the ceremony, leaving Kyle and Khadijah to deal with the shock. Kyle and Khadijah perform a gorgeous duet that he had written for the ceremony, and Kyle professes his love to a clearly moved Max as he sings to her. Overton and Synclaire are married, and stride happily down the aisle.
Music: "MacArthur Park" (Donna Summer), sung by Erika Alexander; "Wedding March"; "I Commit to You" (Kyle Bowser), performed by Queen Latifah and T.C. Carson
Quotes:
Regine: "All right, everybody. It's twenty-four hours until the ceremony. That means it's time for you two to say `bye-bye' until you exchange vows."
Synclaire: "So when we see each other at the altar, it'll be like we're meeting for the first time and thinking, `Man, this is moving fast!'"
Kyle: "I hope I'm not this jittery the day of my wedding."
Overton: "Yeah, that's `cause you'll be too busy arguing with Max over who's gonna wear the tux."
Kyle: "Max?"
Overton: "Yeah. Tragic as it is, shorty, she's your destiny."
Max: "I love you."
Kyle: "Wh-wh-wh-what?!"
Khadijah: "Huh?"
Lyrics:
With you I feel inspired
So with this ring, I commit to you
My love for you grows endless
Oh girl, from the depths of my soul
So with this ring, I commit to you
My love for you has no boundaries
I give you my heart
I give you everything, yes I do
All I want is forever
You and I as one, you and I as one
To love for a lifetime
And I'm proud to say
On my wedding day
I do, I do
Till death do us part, that you'll still have my heart
And I know I'll be good to you
I said "I do" to only you
For the rest of my life
`Cause you bring out the best in me
For the rest of my life
Gonna be your wife
My love is true
And so I do, boy--take my hand
>From the bottom of my heart
I need to tell you that I
Love you, I need you
I love you, I need you
For all time
Till death do us part, that you'll still have my heart
And I know I'll be good to you
I said "I do" to only you
For the rest of my life
Khadijah finally refers to the end of her relationship with Dr. Charles Roberts, who had not appeared since 4.12 or been mentioned since 4.14.
The series was not included on the fall schedule, but was promoted from mid-season replacement when the Scott Baio comedy "Rewind" tanked and was cancelled before a single episode aired.
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