5th Season 1996

  1. "Dr. Wonderful"
    gs: John O'Hurley [ Dr. Von Derphal ], Victoria Hoffman [ Ira's Girlfriend ], Jann Karam [ Girl ], Norma Maldonado [ Consuela ]

    rc: Sylvia, Burt, Debbie, Joan

    With Mark Devanow in Europe, a pregnant Jamie and Paul have to look around for a gynecologist and Debbie tries to set them up with her girlfriend. Meanwhile the elder Buchmans finally get to meet Debbie's "friend."

    b: 17 Sep 96 pc: _________ w: Victor Levin & Larry Charles d: Michael Lembeck
  2. "The Grant"
    gs: Mel Brooks [ Uncle Phil ], Patrick Bristow [ Troy ], Gedde Watanabe [ Brockwell's Speechwriter ], Arnetia Walker [ Jamie's Co-Worker ], Elya Baskin [ Vladimir ], John Freeland, Jr. [ Campaign Worker ], Nick Toth [ Kinko's Customer ], Deborah Guyer Greene [ Reporter ]

    rc: Lance

    Jamie tries to stay awake, avoid coffee and continue to manage Brockwell's campaign. And while Paul is figuring out how to use a sizeable grant that has come his way, his Uncle Phil asks Paul and Ira to visit him in Brooklyn.

    b: 24 Sep 96 pc: _________ w: Jenji Kohan, Victor Levin, Richard Day & Larry Charles d: Michael Lembeck
  3. "Therapy"
    gs: Mo Gaffney [ Sheila ], Alan Charof [ Herb Buchman ], Patrick Bristow [ Troy ], Vladimir [ Elya Baskin ], Kenny Moskow [ Paul's Cameraman ]

    rc: Sylvia, Burt, Lance

    Months after setting it up, Jamie and Paul decide to keep their appointment with the therapist Fran referred them to, but doing so delays Paul's shoot of his parents' reminiscences, with some interesting consequences.

    b: 15 Oct 96 pc: _________ w: Richard Day d: Michael Lembeck
  4. "The Clip Show"

    Having chosen the residents of Apartment 11-D as its parents, the baby in the making deals with musical interludes and parental cooing, and with lots and lots of choice moments from their years together. In other words, a clip show.

    b: 22 Oct 96 pc: _________ w: Jonathan Leigh Solomon & Leslie Caveny d: Michael Lembeck
  5. "Burt's Building"
    gs: Christopher Darga [ Akiba ], Allan Corduner [ Osofsky ], Adam Weisman [ Young Paul ], Zane Lansky [ Irwin ], Markus Redmond [ Howard ], Floyd Levine [ Artie Zeitlin ]

    rc: Burt, Joan

    Filming of Paul's documentary takes him and Burt back for the day to their old apartment building, and events conspire to make Paul late for an appointment at Joan's office to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time

    b: 29 Oct 96 pc: _________ w: Ron Darian, Victor Levin & Larry Charles d: Michael Lembeck


  6. "Jamie's Parents"
    gs: Carol Burnett [ Theresa Stemple ], Carroll O'Connor [ Gus Stemple ]

    The Stemples arrive at Paul and Jamie's apartment for a two-day visit armed with a surprise, and another soon follows

    b: 12 Nov 96 pc: _________ w: Maria Semple d: Michael Lembeck

    NOTE: This was the official 100th episode.
  7. "Outbreak"
    gs: Carol Burnett [ Theresa Stemple ], Joanna Daniels [ Elevator Woman ], Jose Zuniga [ Arturo ], Carol Rosenthal [ D.J. ], Ralph Manza [ Campanella ], Alex Rocco [ Mel Slotkin ], Kevin Bacon [ Himself ]

    rc: Burt, Sylvia, Debbie, Joan, Maggie

    The Buchmans decide the time and place of their grand announcement but the leaks start early this Thanksgiving week, at the elevator outside Joan's office. The pace is fast and furious and the saga ends with a surprising connection.

    b: 19 Nov 96 pc: _________ w: Richard Day d: David Steinberg
  8. "Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge"
    gs: Dorothy Patterson [ Mrs. Gruber ]

    rc: Sylvia, Burt, Maggie

    While Ira counsels against it, Paul contemplates abstinence until July. However, Jamie has other ideas and talks Paul into a trip upstate where they chance upon a dessert item with magical powers.

    b: 26 Nov 96 pc: _________ w: Victor Levin d: David Steinberg
  9. "The Gym"
    gs: Bruno Kirby [ Virgil ], Paul Parducci [ Dante ], John Toles-Bey [ Virgil's Friend ], Alfonso de Rose [ Italian Man ], Elizabeth Larou [ Gym Clerk ], Karen Gracey [ Bookstore Clerk ]

    Paul so likes playing the mystery man at a local gym that he talks Jamie out of working out there, whereupon she hands over her free pass to a homeless acquaintance from the neighborhood.

    b: 17 Dec 96 pc: _________ w: Victor Levin, Richard Day & Larry Charles d: Michael Lembeck
  10. "Chicken Man (a.k.a. The Volunteer)"
    gs: Kari Coleman [ Molly Norman ], Patrick Bristow [ Troy ], Roger Behr [ Cackling Auditioner ], Danny Breen [ High Pitched Auditioner ], Ron Darian [ The Chicken Man ], Jeanne Mori [ Campaign Worker ], James Earl Jones [ Voice of Himself ]

    rc: Lance, Joan

    Jamie finally lets her coworkers and Lance know about the baby, while Ira, turning money man and producer for "Buchman," actually manages to produce a narrator, at least in voice.

    b: 7 Jan 97 pc: _________ w: Jonathan Leigh Solomon, Ron Darian & Larry Charles d: David Steinberg
  11. "The Recital"
    gs: Mo Gaffney [ Sheila ], Jeff Garlin [ Marvin ]

    rc: Ryan

    A politically incorrect Jamie pays the price for commenting about Ryan's ability as a budding violinist, while a simmering Paul works up the nerve to confront the therapist about her overcharging ways.

    b: 14 Jan 97 pc: _________ w: Moses Port, David Guarascio, Jenji Kohan & Maria Semple d: David Steinberg
  12. "The Handyman"
    gs: Scott Atkinson [ Doug ], Billy Morrissette [ Sanford Klarik ], Ed Asner [ Zigmund Klarik ], Vassili Bogazianos [ Security Agent ]

    The perils of engaging Paul and Jamie's handyman are visited upon Lisa, whose fiance Sanford is more than willing to finance Paul's over-budget documentary project.

    b: 21 Jan 97 pc: _________ w: Richard Day d: David Steinberg
  13. "Astrology"
    gs: Carol Burnett [ Theresa Stemple ], Melanie Mayron [ Doris ], Steven Gilborn [ Professor Tomassi ], Dale Godboldo [ Professor Tomassi's Student ], Roy Fegan [ Manager at Klarik's ], Fritzi Burr [ Customer ]

    rc: Nat

    Nat's sister, an astrologer, is in town and agrees to do charts for Lisa, Ira and Paul, and a very reluctant Jamie.

    b: 4 Feb 97 pc: _________ w: Jenji Kohan & Larry Charles d: David Steinberg
  14. "The Penis"
    gs: Mel Brooks [ Uncle Phil ], Lawrence A. Mandley [ Leon ], Eric Allan Kramer [ Skippy ], Ann Walker [ Joan's Receptionist ]

    rc: Burt, Sylvia, Joan

    The Buchmans promise to name their baby, if a boy, after Paul's ailing uncle Phil, then find out his real name. Meanwhile, Paul is suddenly sure of the baby's sex.

    b: 11 Feb 97 pc: _________ w: Maria Semple, Richard Day & Larry Charles d: David Steinberg
  15. "Citizen Buchman"
    gs: Len Lesser [ Uncle Arnold ], Jill C. Klein [ Aunt Blossom ], Sam Lloyd [ David ], Shecky Greene [ Uncle Marty ], Sid Caesar [ Uncle Harold ], Florence Stanley [ Miriam Sass ], Fred DeCordova [ Hugh Moss ], David Steinberg [ Rabbi Lou Menken ], Christian Clemenson [ Jared (uncredited) ]

    rc: Burt, Sylvia, Debbie

    Paul's great-uncle Marty dies on camera as he is being interviewed for "Buchman" and his cryptic last words lead to a few unexpected disclosures among the Buchman clan.

    b: 18 Feb 97 pc: _________ w: Victor Levin d: David Steinberg
  16. "Her Houseboy, Coco"
    gs: Jerry Adler [ Mr. Wicker ], Andrew Craig [ Al Spehr ], Franc Ross [ Rauschling ], Harley Zumbrum [ Partner #1 ], Mark Anthony Nutter [ Partner #2 ]

    rc: Burt, Sylvia, Debbie, Joan, Nat

    An enforced bed-rest of two to three days for Jamie means Paul has to attend to her every need, and also deal with lack of heat in their apartment, and a kidnapping.

    b: 25 Feb 97 pc: _________ w: Victor Levin d: Gordon Hunt
  17. "On the Road"
    gs: Jeff Garlin [ Marvin ], Harper Roisman [ Gas Station Clerk ], John David Conti [ The Bartender ], Phyllis Lyons [ Darla ], Stacey Travis [ Dawn ], Scott Jaeck [ AA Member ], Greg Lee [ Pool Player ]

    To escape Jamie's baby shower, Paul hits the road with Ira and Marvin in the latter's van, but his urge to tell insensitive jokes quickly leads to trouble.

    b: 18 Mar 97 pc: _________ w: Paul Reiser, Richard Day & Larry Charles d: David Steinberg
  18. "The Cockatoo"
    gs: Richard Portnow [ Arthur ], Patrick Bristow [ Troy ], Elya Baskin [ Vladimir ], Deborah Theaker [ Judy Kaufman ], David Vegh [ Newsnight Crewman ], Fred Sanders [ Pet Store Owner ]

    rc: Lance, Maggie

    Paul talks an unwilling Jamie into quitting her job at the mayoral campaign, but he is less successful in dealing with an exotic bird that flies into their lives.

    b: 1 Apr 97 pc: _________ w: Maria Semple & Richard Day d: Gordon Hunt
  19. "The Touching Game"
    gs: Sam Lloyd [ David ], Kevin E. Ross [ Renee ], Kevin Keckeisen [ The Little Boy ], Jean St. James [ Mother ], Greg Longstreet [ Stock Boy ], John Webber [ Man ], Christian Clemenson [ Jared (uncredited) ]

    A very pregnant Jamie insists on helping out at David (Paul's cousin) and Jared's new coffee shop, with disastrous results. Meanwhile Ira and Paul help a pregnant woman on a bus.

    b: 15 Apr 97 pc: _________ w: Maria Semple & Richard Day s: Jenji Kohan, Jonathan Leigh Solomon, Moses Port & David Guarascio d: Gordon Hunt
  20. "The Dry Run"
    gs: Marsha Warfield [ Amy ], Sergei Brusilovsky [ Cabbie #1 ], Gerry Bednob [ Cabbie #2 ], Zaid Farid [ Policeman ], Nikki Lee [ Nurse ], Kevin Contreras [ Birthing Classmate #1 ], Mary Anne Schafer [ Birthing Classmate #2 ]

    rc: Burt, Sylvia, Debbie

    Paul and Jamie flunk out of a birthing class Joan has managed to get them enrolled in. Meanwhile "Buchman" is being held hostage by the elder Buchmans and a stolen spoon saga.

    b: 29 Apr 97 pc: _________ w: Moses Port, David Guarascio & Larry Charles d: Michael Lembeck
  21. "Guardianhood"
    gs: Seth Green [ Bobby ], Susan Leslie [ Bobby's Sister ], Megan Mullally [ Jane ], Joe Alfasa [ Oscar ]

    rc: Burt, Sylvia, Debbie, Joan, Ursula, Mark (voice only)

    Paul and Jamie are advised by their lawyer to select guardians for the baby, and to their astonishment, rejections pile up. Meanwhile, Jamie is flattered by the attentions of an 18-year old.

    b: 6 May 97 pc: _________ w: Victor Levin s: Jonathan Leigh Solomon d: Michael Lembeck
  22. "The Feud"
    gs: Carol Burnett [ Theresa Stemple ], Jeff Garlin [ Marvin ]

    rc: Burt, Sylvia. Theresa and Sylvia vie for the new crib honors, with predictable consequences. On another front, Paul wins big at poker but is paid off by Marvin in the form of specially-priced household chores.

    b: 13 May 97 pc: _________ w: Richard Day d: Gordon Hunt
  23. "The Birth (1)"
    gs: Estelle Getty [ Aunt Ida ], Carol Burnett [ Theresa Stemple ], Carroll O'Connor [ Gus Stemple ], Mo Gaffney [ Sheila ], Jack Esformes [ Paul's Crewman ], David Dunard [ Dan ], Anthony Mangano [ Orderly ], Judyann Elder [ Nurse ], Rita Gomez [ Spanish Woman ], Alison Martin [ Muriel ], Dean Cameron [ Irwin ], John Gegenhuber [ Ben ], Lance E. Nichols [ Dr. Eckstine ], David Correia [ Cabbie #2 ], Roy Goldman [ Cabbie #3 ], Michael Moore [ Himself ]

    rc: Burt, Sylvia, Debbie, Joan, Nat

    As Paul's documentary gets a surprisingly good review at a film festival, Jamie thinks she is going into labor. So they rush to the hospital, only to find out it was a false alarm. This happens several more times, until it's finally for real.

    b: 20 May 97 pc: _________ w: Larry Charles d: Gordon Hunt
  24. "The Birth (2)"
    gs: Carol Burnett [ Theresa Stemple ], Carroll O'Connor [ Gus Stemple ], Eric Stoltz [ Alan ], Anthony Mangano [ Orderly ], Judyann Elder [ Nurse ], Alison Martin [ Muriel ], Dean Cameron [ Irwin ], John Gegenhuber [ Ben ], Lance E. Nichols [ Dr. Eckstine ], Penny Greigo [ Reporter ], Paul D'Ambrosio [ Security ], Beau Billingslea [ Security Chief ], David Correia [ Cabbie #2 ], Roy Goldman [ Cabbie #3 ], Bruce Willis [ Himself ]

    rc: Burt, Sylvia, Debbie, Joan, Nat

    Jamie runs into an old flame in a cab on the way to the hospital, Paul gets a grand tour of the innards of Roosevelt Hospital courtesy of a film star, and yes, the baby arrives...

    b: 20 May 97 pc: _________ w: Larry Charles d: Gordon Hunt

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